PGA Officials Deny They Are "Picayune Weenies"
Aug 15th, 2010
Sheboygan, WI - "I was thinking beach, not bunker," said Dustin Johnson after receiving a two-stroke penalty for grounding a club resulted in his elimination from a playoff for the PGA Championship. Johnson's second shot on the 18th hole was hit in a sandy area, where he was surrounded by fans, many sporting sandals and carrying lightweight chairs. Read more...

Odyssey's Cheese-Insert Putter Wows Sheboygan
Aug 13th, 2010
Sheboygan, WI - Don't slice this wedge. The new Odyssey CH2 "2 Wheel" putter, featuring an aged cheddar cheese wedge insert, melted golfers' hearts at the recent PGA Championship. Nearly a third of the PGA Tour pros competing at Whistling Straits switched to the innovative putter from Callaway/Odyssey golf and their scores showed it. Read more...

Mets Surge Ahead In "Worm In The Apple" Race
Aug 13th, 2010
New York - In the hotly contested race for the Worm In The Apple Award the Mets have surged ahead of the Knicks as NY's worst professional team.   Building on their recent history of late season pratfalls a Mets spokesman said, “Frankie Rodriguez's antics will help us reclaim the WITAA trophy.”  Read more...

Tiger Woods Quits Golf, Will Join Pro Ping Pong Tour
Aug 8th, 2010
New York – After shooting 18-over par at Bridgestone Invitational to record the worst four rounds of his PGA Tour career, Tiger Woods has quit golf. “Golf's boring. I’m going back to my first love, ping-pong," said Woods. Read more...

Mark Cuban To Buy State of Texas
Aug 5th, 2010
Dallas, TX - eTrueSports has learned that Mark Cuban, who just lost - no thanks to Bud Selig - a bid to purchase the Texas Rangers, is in negotiations to buy the state of Texas. "The minute the sale is finalized, I'm invading Wisconsin," declared an irate Cuban. Read more...

Buck Showalter Abandons Standup Career to Manage Orioles
Jul 30th, 2010
Baltimore - Abandoning a burgeoning standup career, comedian and TV personality Buck Showalter has returned to baseball as manager of the woeful Baltimore Orioles. "It's time I got serious," said Showalter, who thanked Jon Stewart and The Daily Show for allowing early termination of his contract with the Emmy-awarding winning comedy show. Read more...

American Pie Association Wants MLB To Ban Shaving Cream
Jul 28th, 2010
New York – "Whipped cream pies in the face are as American as the 7th inning stretch," said a spokesman for the American Pie Association in calling today for Major League Baseball to ban the use of shaving cream in post-game celebrations Read more...

USC Prayer Breakfast Targets Lane Kiffin
Jul 28th, 2010
Los Angeles - eTrueSports has learned that USC has scheduled a "Pray for Lane Kiffin To Quit" breakfast at The Coliseum for Saturday morning at 9 a.m. "Please come early to guarantee yourself a seat," said new USC athletic director Pat Haden. Read more...

'Nascar Fans Wanted' Says Tea Bagger Ad Campaign
Jul 26th, 2010
New York - With Nascar struggling to attract both young drivers and fans, and advertisers abandoning the struggling sport, the American Tea Bagger party announced a major ad campaign directed at the sports' aging fan base. "They're old, they're angry, they're us," said a T-Bagger spokesman. Read more...

Woods Agent Denounces Rachel Uchitel's "Apprentice" Deal
Jul 23rd, 2010
Los Angeles - "She cares only about money," said Tiger Woods' IMG agent Mark Steinberg in a press conference denouncing Rachel Uchitel for her upcoming appearance on The Apprentice Read more...