Dallas – With the signing of Jason Kidd, the Dallas Mavericks announced that they have terminated negotiations to acquire singer Kid Rock. "One Kidd's enough," said Maverick owner Mark Cuban. "The only reason we were talking to Kid Rock was because he kept calling day and night.  Plus, the publicity."

"I'm extremely pissed off” said the musician. "Cuban told me I was starting at the 2-guard against the Hornets on Wednesday.  I'm thinking he ain't a man of his word. And I'm thinking he oughta watch his back."

 

Dallas – Thwarted in their attempt to obtain New Jersey’s all-star guard, Jason Kidd, the Dallas Mavericks have turned their attention to controversial rocker Kid Rock.

 

The musician was ecstatic at the news. “I love to ball,” said Rock.

 

“I’m a business man,” Maverick owner Mark Cuban said. ’If the fans want a kid, I’ll give ‘em a kid. I don’t know if he’s even got a jump shot, but music is about attitude, Kid Rock’s got it and we need it.

 

“His latest song is So Hott, and that’s where we want to be.”

 

“I’ll be a good fit in Big D,” said Rock, whose newest album is Rock and Roll Jesus. "I dig church.” The musician, a former husband of Pamela Lee Anderson, added:  “I have big hands; you know what that means…I can palm a basketball.”

 

A native of Detroit, Kid Rock has apparently fallen out of love with his hometown Pistons. “Saunders (coach Flip) is a major dweeb,” said Rock, “and I’m tired of Rasheed Wallace’s temper tantrums. He needs to chill.”