Fayetteville, AK – In what is being described as a “courageous and selfless” decision, Atlanta Falcons’ football coach Bobby Petrino announced that he would take the head coaching job at the University of Arkansas and commit to buying yet another house, his fifth in the last five years.

 

“Everyone knows America faces a housing crisis,” said Petrino in an emotional press conference, “and Becky and I felt it was our responsibility to do our part. We’ve been blessed and now its time to give back.”

 

Petrino said he hoped to meet with former head coach and outgoing athletic director Frank Broyles. "He's such a legend, and I can't wait to talk to him about the Fayetteville housing market."

 

The former Falcon coach said he would immediately begin interviewing real estate agents and mortgage brokers in Fayetteville with the goal of giving the local market a “shot in the arm in the very near future.”

 

On Monday, Petrino assured Falcon’s owner Arthur Blank that he was committed to the Falcons, but as the housing crisis deepened on Tuesday, Petrino apparently had a change of heart.

“Of course, we’re a tad disappointed,” Blank said in a statement, “but we applaud Bobby’s self-sacrificing decision and wish him all the best in finding a new house at a great price.”

 

President George Bush praised the Petrinos’ move: “This is exactly the kind of private action that citizens can take to help their country,” said Bush. “Government can’t solve every little piddling problem. Laura and I salute Becky and Bobby for this courageous move, and hope it will encourage others to bail on their jobs, relocate, and buy new – or even used – houses.”