Pacman Jones Moves On, Will Replace Katie Couric at CBS * "We need more street cred" says CBS President

Pacman Jones Moves On, Will Replace Katie Couric at CBS

Nov 7, 2007

"We need more street cred," says CBS President Les Moonves

New York - BREAKING NEWS - eTrueSports has learned that Adam "Pacman" Jones, the Tennessee Titan football player whose suspension for the rest of the NFL season has just been confirmed by the commissioner's office, will replace Katie Couric as anchor of the CBS Evening News.

"We need more street cred," said CBS President and CEO Les Moonves in a prepared statement announcing the stunning move. "Ratings are king and 'Pac' can help us. It's as simple as that."

"I plan on restoring The Evening News to its previous status," said Mr. Jones, adding that he would immediately focus on returning "substance and serious reporting" to the broadcast.

Jones, a cornerback suspended by the NFL for the 2007 season, was recently released on $20,000 bail on felony charges stemming from a strip club melee and triple-shooting; he has been involved in 11 different police investigations.

When reached by reporters, Ms. Couric said that she wished "Adam all the best" in his "new career." Couric said she was more than willing to do whatever CBS asked in order to "help smooth the transition to the new regime." Since Ms. Couric replaced veteran journalist Bob Schieffer as anchor, the CBS Evening News has seen ratings tumble to their lowest point in ten years.

CBS emphasized that it stood behind Mr. Jones and that the company was "confident the young man has turned his life around."

Due to on-going legal proceedings, it is not immediately known when Jones will take over as anchor.

"We're shooting for two weeks," said a source at CBS News.

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Reader Responses

Nov 9, 2007 10:24 AM

Joseph

Why not? Couric forfeited her journalistic chops on her very first night with an incisive report on Tom Cruise's baby. Assuming Pacman can read a teleprompter ...

Play Ball with Stop-Motion

Elvis Sings The Bunker Blues

After a rousing speech by Roger Clemens proclaiming his innocence to felony charges for lying to Congress, supporters in Katy, TX reported a flock of flying pigs rose from a nearby tree, circled the crowd and flew off into the sunset.

"However, this is a wakeup call," said Clemens after his perjury indictment. "I'm going to look closely at my lying."

Politico is reporting that former GOP House Majority Leader and fellow Texan Tom DeLay will advise Clemens, pro-bono, on how to employ smirking sanctimony to deny wrongdoing at his upcoming trial.

"We have enough potty-mouthed motherf..kers in the NFL," said NBC analyst Tony Dungy in blasting Jets' coach Rex Ryan for hiring former Jet Blue flight attendant Steven Slater as an Assistant Food Services Coach.

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World Extreme Cagefighting has applied to the International Olympic Committee to add cagefighting as an official event for the 2012 games in London.

"If he'd been my mother-in-law, none of this would have happened," said Francisco Rodriguez about the incident which resulted in his arrest for assaulting his father-in-law at Citi Field ... and a season-ending injury.

"My hand hurts," said Dustin Johnson after failing to write "I will not ground my club in bunkers anymore" 1,000 times on Whistling Straits' main blackboard. "He's 11 sentences short," said a PGA spokesman in announcing Johnson's immediate suspension. "Rules are rules."

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Email the publisher!

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<< Back Pacman Jones Moves On, Will Replace Katie Couric at CBS Nov 7, 2007 "We need more street cred," says CBS President Les Moonves New York - BREAKING NEWS - eTrueSports has learned that Adam "Pacman" Jones, the Tennessee Titan football player whose suspension for the rest of the NFL season has just been confirmed by the commissioner's office, will replace Katie Couric as anchor of the CBS Evening News. "We need more street cred," said CBS President and CEO Les Moonves in a prepared statement announcing the stunning move. "Ratings are king and 'Pac' can help us. It's as simple as that." "I plan on restoring The Evening News to its previous status," said Mr. Jones, adding that he would immediately focus on returning "substance and serious reporting" to the broadcast. Jones, a cornerback suspended by the NFL for the 2007 season, was recently released on $20,000 bail on felony charges stemming from a strip club melee and triple-shooting; he has been involved in 11 different police investigations. When reached by reporters, Ms. Couric said that she wished "Adam all the best" in his "new career." Couric said she was more than willing to do whatever CBS asked in order to "help smooth the transition to the new regime." Since Ms. Couric replaced veteran journalist Bob Schieffer as anchor, the CBS Evening News has seen ratings tumble to their lowest point in ten years. CBS emphasized that it stood behind Mr. Jones and that the company was "confident the young man has turned his life around." Due to on-going legal proceedings, it is not immediately known when Jones will take over as anchor. "We're shooting for two weeks," said a source at CBS News. << Back Respond to this article \| Email this article to a friend Reader Responses Nov 9, 2007 10:24 AM Joseph Why not? Couric forfeited her journalistic chops on her very first night with an incisive report on Tom Cruise's baby. Assuming Pacman can read a teleprompter ... Play Ball with Stop-Motion Elvis Sings The Bunker Blues After a rousing speech by Roger Clemens proclaiming his innocence to felony charges for lying to Congress, supporters in Katy, TX reported a flock of flying pigs rose from a nearby tree, circled the crowd and flew off into the sunset. "However, this is a wakeup call," said Clemens after his perjury indictment. "I'm going to look closely at my lying." Politico is reporting that former GOP House Majority Leader and fellow Texan Tom DeLay will advise Clemens, pro-bono, on how to employ smirking sanctimony to deny wrongdoing at his upcoming trial. "We have enough potty-mouthed motherf..kers in the NFL," said NBC analyst Tony Dungy in blasting Jets' coach Rex Ryan for hiring former Jet Blue flight attendant Steven Slater as an Assistant Food Services Coach. Responding to a tidal flow of fan protests over the "boring and stupid" New Meadowlands Stadium name, New Jersey officials announced the facility will be called "East Rutherford Just Off The Jersey Turnpike Field." "It has nothing to do with Brad personally," commented Brett Favre about reports of a rift with Minnesota Viking's coach Brad Childress. "I just don't trust anyone who's bald and wears glasses." World Extreme Cagefighting has applied to the International Olympic Committee to add cagefighting as an official event for the 2012 games in London. "If he'd been my mother-in-law, none of this would have happened," said Francisco Rodriguez about the incident which resulted in his arrest for assaulting his father-in-law at Citi Field ... and a season-ending injury. "My hand hurts," said Dustin Johnson after failing to write "I will not ground my club in bunkers anymore" 1,000 times on Whistling Straits' main blackboard. "He's 11 sentences short," said a PGA spokesman in announcing Johnson's immediate suspension. "Rules are rules." Heard any good rumors? Email the publisher! eTrueSports Columnist Frank Coffey Top Eleven NHL Marketing Suggestions For The PGA eTrueSports Columnist Thomas Dolt Kobe Bryant's iPod Playlist eTrueSports Columnist Downs MacRury The Boras Files eTrueSports Columnist Ray Dougela Golf The Way It Oughta Be eTrueSports Columnist Burke Terry Baseball’s All-Time Business Name Team eTrueSports Columnist Chris Simmons The Chris Simmons "Inner-View": Jose Canseco eTrueSports Columnist Bookie Mom The N.B.A. – A League of Corruption Just a Phone Call Away Most Popular Stories A-Rod Says "Sorry" With Full-Body, Pinstripe Tattoo Mets Owner to Marry - Knicks Owner! Travis Henry Rushes To Spitzer's Side Mariah Carey Turns Down Offer From Kansas City Royals Carmelo: Google's SportsApologies Widget Works Great! Read All the News!		McCourt divorce prompts Torre to quit Wizard of Oz remake "Not to worry, Strasberg check already cashed," says agent Fake ad attempts to embarrass Roger Clemens, Mr. Bush Packer backer? New movie hints at Favre return to Green Bay Cubs new logo may have played part in Piniella's retirement
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