eTrueSports Logo Wednesday, January 28th, 2015
 
<< Back

Ryan Braun Fan Located In Pocatello

Jul 22, 2013

"Let Him Juice”

Pocatello
, Idaho
– “I don’t have anything to apologize for,” said John L. Canard, 62, a Pocatello-based hedge fund manager who was identified as a Ryan Braun fan after an exhaustive nation-wide search.

“Let Braun juice all he wants," Canard growled in a very brief, impromptu, roadside press conference.  "What is this? Russia?"

A source close to Braun's non-profit action committee Americans For Ryan Braun told eTruesports that the committee would suspend further Braun fan searches.

"It's pretty much hopeless. Everybody thinks Ryan's a shithead, a phony and a liar," explained a dejected AFRB  supporter.   

<< Back

Reader Responses
Jul 23, 2013 10:19 PM
joe
Like the cute of yer jib sporty wind. We should meet. The old nabe ... i'll find you.  Cohiba
Jul 23, 2013 12:17 PM
sportywind
Das Vadonya my American comrades, I am pleased search is no longer continue. I do not know this fellow Ryan of which you speak. Regards to all peoples there.
  • NJ Governor Chris Christie's claim that he travelled late Monday night to Dallas Texas to help Cowboys owner Jerry Jones with snow removal at AT & T stadium is being questioned by the FBI. "It's 73 in Dallas today," a G-man told eTrueSports. "Something's real rotten here."
  • A protest outside CBS headquarters demanding the return of fired NBA analyst Greg Anthony was dispersed by the NYPD. "Neither of them had their hearts in it," cop tells eTrueSports.
  • OKC's Russell Westbrook will take a week's leave of absence from the Thunder to take an 'immersive' Dale Carnegie course. "My first priority is learning how to make friends with fat motherf**king reporters," Westbrook explained.
  • In Dog Show news, Sarah Palin has called for the banning of Afghan Hounds from all U.S. competitions. "They're foreign," explained Palin.
  • With rumors the Knicks may move to the D-league, Jeanie Buss reportedly told fiancee Phil Jackson she would not go house hunting in Fort Wayne, Indiana, sources have told eTrueSports.
  • Sources close to Condoleezza Rice deny that the incoming NFL Commissioner is pressuring Dan Snyder to change his team's name to the Washington Mushroom Clouds.
  • The American Birther Party has withdrawn an invitation to former Chicago Bear player and coach Mike Ditka to address their annual convention in Idaho. "We can't afford to be embarrassed," a Birther spokesman told eTrueSports.
  • "A dream come true," a source close to the Cleveland Indians told eTrueSports about the media attention focused on the Washington Redskins offensive nickname.
  • After discovering his NFL health care plan doesn't cover concussions, commissioner Roger Goodell announced he will no longer call Native Americans "Redskins" to their faces.
  • Heard any good rumors?
    Email the publisher!