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Fat Stem Cells Saved My Bacon, Says Colon

May 31, 2011

NEW YORK - Yankee pitcher Bartolo Colon defended controversial off-season surgery which included harvesting surplus fat stem cells and injecting them into his elbow and shoulder to speed healing.


"Being porky saved my career," said the rotund right-hander, a leading candidate for MLB Comeback Player of the Year.  "Doctors said they'd never seen so many fat stem cells in one person."


Yankee manager Joe Girardi, a workout devotee, called the surgery, a "win win. Bart's throwing smoke and he's less unsightly."


In a related story, amateur theologian Harold Egbert Camping said Colon's "Godless surgery" indicated that the end of the world was back on, probably for Thursday afternoon.

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