Al Gore Saved My Life!

Oct 7, 2007

UPDATE:

Conversation With Former Vice-President Led to Carbon Neutral Lifestyle;  Decision May Have Saved Red Sox Season

Boston - In July, after a long heart-to-heart talk with former vice-president Al Gore, Manny Ramirez, Boston's all-star left fielder, announced a commitment to a carbon neutral lifestyle and informed the Red Sox that he would bike to the team's remaining games. The decision prompted many to predict a disastrous outcome. They were wrong.  

Bizarrely - is there any other way in Manny's world? - all the pedaling led to a strained oblique, which led to Ramirez missing 24 consecutive games, which led to a very well-rested Manny crushing a walk-off home run against the Angels to win game 2 of the ALDS, then helping complete a 3-0 sweep of Anaheim, before moving on to torture the Indians in the ALCS.

"Thank god I talked to Al," Manny said with tears in his eyes. "If he decides to run for President and I remember to register, I'm definitely going to vote for him."

eTrueSports was one of many voices predicting Manny/Sox disaster. We owe Manny, the Red Sox Nation and Big Al an apology. 

Original Story:

"I've been saving energy on my own for years, just ask the Sox," quipped Ramirez. "Biking's perfect for me, I don't like to run."

Sources with Boston said it was too early to determine how the decision will affect Ramirez's availability to the team for the rest of the season. The Red Sox begin an eleven-game home stand on Thursday, July 12, but then move on to Cleveland for three, games, then to Tampa. Cleveland is 552 miles from Boston and Tampa 993 miles from Cleveland.

"If anybody can do this, it's Manny," said Red Sox DH David Ortiz, in a statement that praised Ramirez's courage. "It's not easy being a true individual," added Ortiz.

Not all Ramirez's teammates were so supportive. "He's a fruitcake," said Red Sox captain Jason Varitek. "I bet the Yankees are sending him inner tubes and energy bars as we speak."

Ramirez appealed to the Red Sox Nation to embrace green principles. "I've been lobbying my teammates for years about the issues," Ramirez said. "Curt Schilling's computer now runs on biofuel and his blog is 100% recyclable. Coco Crisp recently installed solar panels over his locker. And I've asked John Henry (the club's owner) to change the team's name to the Green Sox. He said he'd seriously consider it. He drives a  Prius."

Ramirez pointed out that he's been personally close to Al Gore since they chaired a symposium at Harvard on renewable resources.

"I'm a little miffed at Al right now," Ramirez said smiling. "My cha-cha band was all set to play Live Earth at Giants Stadium but we got bumped at the last minute. I mean, who's Bon Jovi?" 

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