Garden To Be Re-Branded 'World's Most Dysfunctional Arena' * Team Adds New Internship Program: 'Romping with Starbury'

Garden To Be Re-Branded 'World's Most Dysfunctional Arena'

Sep 30, 2007

Team Also Announces New Internship Program, 'Romping With Starbury'

New York - In the wake of New York Knickerbockers' president and coach Isiah Thomas being found guilty of sexual harassment, James Dolan, chairman of Madison Square Garden, has announced that ‘The World's Most Famous Arena’ will be re-branded as ‘The World's Most Dysfunctional Arena.’

Immediately after the verdict Thomas and star point guard, Stephon Marbury, introduced a groundbreaking new internship program called, 'Romping With Starbury.'

According to Madison Square Garden, women 21-and-under may be eligible to have some fun with Marbury in the backseat of his new SUV.

"I think this could be very instructive for ambitious young women who want to learn how to get ahead at MSG," Thomas explained.

The Garden asked that all women submit photos, preferably revealing ones, a Parental Consent Form (if the candidate is under age 18), and a Notarized Waiver of Responsibility.

“What can I say? I like chicks,” Marbury said, who thanked his wife for her “support and understanding.”

In a spirited back-and-forth press conference introducing 'The Joint Where Anything Goes' re-branding, Dolan, son of billionaire Charles Dolan, firmly said, "I can do whatever I want to do."

Later, Dolan entertained journalists by singing an original song which included the verse: “We’ll have some fun. As long as you remember: I’m Chuck Do-lan’s son!”

Explaining James Dolan’s somewhat unusual performance, a Garden spokesman said that the high-spirited Dolan was a former professional rock musician who once shared a stage with the Hanson Brothers.

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Reader Responses

Oct 2, 2007 1:53 PM

lucid eye

I'm shocked, shocked that Isiah has been found guilty. I thought good-looking, glib, sports stars were always innocent. Hope this doesn't mean the end of the promising Romping With Starbury internship program.

Oct 1, 2007 10:47 PM

These guys deserve all the abuse we can possibly heap on them. Isiah was one of my favorite players ever, and it sure looks likes he's turned out to just another louse. Ridicule is the best revenge, good work!

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<< Back Garden To Be Re-Branded 'World's Most Dysfunctional Arena' Sep 30, 2007 Team Also Announces New Internship Program, 'Romping With Starbury' New York - In the wake of New York Knickerbockers' president and coach Isiah Thomas being found guilty of sexual harassment, James Dolan, chairman of Madison Square Garden, has announced that ‘The World's Most Famous Arena’ will be re-branded as ‘The World's Most Dysfunctional Arena.’ Immediately after the verdict Thomas and star point guard, Stephon Marbury, introduced a groundbreaking new internship program called, 'Romping With Starbury.' According to Madison Square Garden, women 21-and-under may be eligible to have some fun with Marbury in the backseat of his new SUV. "I think this could be very instructive for ambitious young women who want to learn how to get ahead at MSG," Thomas explained. The Garden asked that all women submit photos, preferably revealing ones, a Parental Consent Form (if the candidate is under age 18), and a Notarized Waiver of Responsibility. “What can I say? I like chicks,” Marbury said, who thanked his wife for her “support and understanding.” In a spirited back-and-forth press conference introducing 'The Joint Where Anything Goes' re-branding, Dolan, son of billionaire Charles Dolan, firmly said, "I can do whatever I want to do." Later, Dolan entertained journalists by singing an original song which included the verse: “We’ll have some fun. As long as you remember: I’m Chuck Do-lan’s son!” Explaining James Dolan’s somewhat unusual performance, a Garden spokesman said that the high-spirited Dolan was a former professional rock musician who once shared a stage with the Hanson Brothers. << Back Respond to this article \| Email this article to a friend Reader Responses Oct 2, 2007 1:53 PM lucid eye I'm shocked, shocked that Isiah has been found guilty. I thought good-looking, glib, sports stars were always innocent. Hope this doesn't mean the end of the promising Romping With Starbury internship program. Oct 1, 2007 10:47 PM ed These guys deserve all the abuse we can possibly heap on them. Isiah was one of my favorite players ever, and it sure looks likes he's turned out to just another louse. Ridicule is the best revenge, good work! Did A Woman Play For The Senators? Brett Favre's Lost 2008 Jets Promotional Music Video After learning that Red Bull is an official sponsor of the U.S. Olympic Committee, political activist and author Sarah Palin is demanding President Obama immediately oust “all commies” from the United States Olympic Committee. “I wish I’d just beaten the shit out of them,” said a wistful Jets coach Rex Ryan after learning he had been fined $50,000 for a caught-on-video obscene gesture towards fans at an MMA event. BREAKING NEWS: Craig James mediation settlement: Coach Mike Leach will promise not to lock concussed football players in dark rooms; Texas Tech school officials will admit they are gutless weenies. "I'll never buy another Impala SS," announced an angry Sarah Palin, after learning Chevron had unexpectedly cancelled its sponsorship of Alaska's Iditarod race. eTrueSports has learned former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich will not be rehired as a part-time mascot for the Toledo Mud Hens. “He scared the younger fans,” said a source close to the Mud Hens. A month after celebrating his 34th birthday, Tiger Woods reported mail theft to the Windermere, FL police because he had not received birthday cards from any of his friends. Fox Sports announced American Idle, a new primetime reality show featuring bench warmers from a variety of professional sports competing to see who has contributed the least to their team. Lakers’ Adam Morrison is set to host. No snow job. eTrueSports has learned the Vancouver Organzing Committee has moved the men's and women's alpine events to North Carolina's Smokey Mountains. With the NCAA Basketball Tournament a month away, the UConn Huskies women’s team has quietly dropped an exhibition game against the New Jersey Nets. “Teams play to the level of their competition,” explained coach Geno Auriemma. Heard any good rumors? 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