Beckham To Buy Pacific Coast Highway * "We need a bigger driveway," says wife Posh Spice

Beckham To Buy Pacific Coast Highway

Sep 8, 2007

Soccer Star In Tender Offer for Famed California Road

"We Need Our Privacy," Says Wife Posh Spice

Los Angeles - David Beckham, worried about LA traffic, has made a tender offer for the Pacific Coast Highway with the intention of taking the iconic roadway private. "We need a bigger driveway," explained wife Posh Spice.

Beckham, sidelined for the remainder of the LA Galaxy's Major League Soccer season, said he and his wife want to "explore the scenic California coastline in peace and quiet, without those annoying freeway jam-ups that we've heard so much about."

Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger said transportation officials assured him that Interstate 5 could easily handle the increased traffic and praised Beckham's "out-of-the box entrepreneurial thinking." Schwarzenegger said he was confident a large number of private sector jobs, "complete with some health care benefits," would be created to help maintain the road.

In January, Beckham signed a deal worth more than $250 million in salary and commercial endorsements, thought to be the biggest in sporting history.

A spokesman for the Beckhams said the couple was still considering allowing "limited" hitch-hiking on some stretches of the freeway if "liability issues can be worked out."

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Play Ball with Stop-Motion

Elvis Sings The Bunker Blues

After a rousing speech by Roger Clemens proclaiming his innocence to felony charges for lying to Congress, supporters in Katy, TX reported a flock of flying pigs rose from a nearby tree, circled the crowd and flew off into the sunset.

"However, this is a wakeup call," said Clemens after his perjury indictment. "I'm going to look closely at my lying."

Politico is reporting that former GOP House Majority Leader and fellow Texan Tom DeLay will advise Clemens, pro-bono, on how to employ smirking sanctimony to deny wrongdoing at his upcoming trial.

"We have enough potty-mouthed motherf..kers in the NFL," said NBC analyst Tony Dungy in blasting Jets' coach Rex Ryan for hiring former Jet Blue flight attendant Steven Slater as an Assistant Food Services Coach.

Responding to a tidal flow of fan protests over the "boring and stupid" New Meadowlands Stadium name, New Jersey officials announced the facility will be called "East Rutherford Just Off The Jersey Turnpike Field."

"It has nothing to do with Brad personally," commented Brett Favre about reports of a rift with Minnesota Viking's coach Brad Childress. "I just don't trust anyone who's bald and wears glasses."

World Extreme Cagefighting has applied to the International Olympic Committee to add cagefighting as an official event for the 2012 games in London.

"If he'd been my mother-in-law, none of this would have happened," said Francisco Rodriguez about the incident which resulted in his arrest for assaulting his father-in-law at Citi Field ... and a season-ending injury.

"My hand hurts," said Dustin Johnson after failing to write "I will not ground my club in bunkers anymore" 1,000 times on Whistling Straits' main blackboard. "He's 11 sentences short," said a PGA spokesman in announcing Johnson's immediate suspension. "Rules are rules."

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	Thursday, September 2nd, 2010
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<< Back Beckham To Buy Pacific Coast Highway Sep 8, 2007 Soccer Star In Tender Offer for Famed California Road "We Need Our Privacy," Says Wife Posh Spice Los Angeles - David Beckham, worried about LA traffic, has made a tender offer for the Pacific Coast Highway with the intention of taking the iconic roadway private. "We need a bigger driveway," explained wife Posh Spice. Beckham, sidelined for the remainder of the LA Galaxy's Major League Soccer season, said he and his wife want to "explore the scenic California coastline in peace and quiet, without those annoying freeway jam-ups that we've heard so much about." Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger said transportation officials assured him that Interstate 5 could easily handle the increased traffic and praised Beckham's "out-of-the box entrepreneurial thinking." Schwarzenegger said he was confident a large number of private sector jobs, "complete with some health care benefits," would be created to help maintain the road. In January, Beckham signed a deal worth more than $250 million in salary and commercial endorsements, thought to be the biggest in sporting history. A spokesman for the Beckhams said the couple was still considering allowing "limited" hitch-hiking on some stretches of the freeway if "liability issues can be worked out." << Back Respond to this article \| Email this article to a friend Reader Responses No responses for this article Play Ball with Stop-Motion Elvis Sings The Bunker Blues After a rousing speech by Roger Clemens proclaiming his innocence to felony charges for lying to Congress, supporters in Katy, TX reported a flock of flying pigs rose from a nearby tree, circled the crowd and flew off into the sunset. "However, this is a wakeup call," said Clemens after his perjury indictment. "I'm going to look closely at my lying." Politico is reporting that former GOP House Majority Leader and fellow Texan Tom DeLay will advise Clemens, pro-bono, on how to employ smirking sanctimony to deny wrongdoing at his upcoming trial. "We have enough potty-mouthed motherf..kers in the NFL," said NBC analyst Tony Dungy in blasting Jets' coach Rex Ryan for hiring former Jet Blue flight attendant Steven Slater as an Assistant Food Services Coach. Responding to a tidal flow of fan protests over the "boring and stupid" New Meadowlands Stadium name, New Jersey officials announced the facility will be called "East Rutherford Just Off The Jersey Turnpike Field." "It has nothing to do with Brad personally," commented Brett Favre about reports of a rift with Minnesota Viking's coach Brad Childress. "I just don't trust anyone who's bald and wears glasses." World Extreme Cagefighting has applied to the International Olympic Committee to add cagefighting as an official event for the 2012 games in London. "If he'd been my mother-in-law, none of this would have happened," said Francisco Rodriguez about the incident which resulted in his arrest for assaulting his father-in-law at Citi Field ... and a season-ending injury. "My hand hurts," said Dustin Johnson after failing to write "I will not ground my club in bunkers anymore" 1,000 times on Whistling Straits' main blackboard. "He's 11 sentences short," said a PGA spokesman in announcing Johnson's immediate suspension. "Rules are rules." Heard any good rumors? Email the publisher! eTrueSports Columnist Frank Coffey Top Eleven NHL Marketing Suggestions For The PGA eTrueSports Columnist Thomas Dolt Kobe Bryant's iPod Playlist eTrueSports Columnist Downs MacRury The Boras Files eTrueSports Columnist Ray Dougela Golf The Way It Oughta Be eTrueSports Columnist Burke Terry Baseball’s All-Time Business Name Team eTrueSports Columnist Chris Simmons The Chris Simmons "Inner-View": Jose Canseco eTrueSports Columnist Bookie Mom The N.B.A. – A League of Corruption Just a Phone Call Away Most Popular Stories A-Rod Says "Sorry" With Full-Body, Pinstripe Tattoo Mets Owner to Marry - Knicks Owner! Travis Henry Rushes To Spitzer's Side Mariah Carey Turns Down Offer From Kansas City Royals Carmelo: Google's SportsApologies Widget Works Great! Read All the News!		McCourt divorce prompts Torre to quit Wizard of Oz remake "Not to worry, Strasberg check already cashed," says agent Fake ad attempts to embarrass Roger Clemens, Mr. Bush Packer backer? New movie hints at Favre return to Green Bay Cubs new logo may have played part in Piniella's retirement
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