PGA Rumor: Mickelson A Registered Democrat? * "Tiger. Now this?" Says Worried PGA

PGA Rumor: Mickelson A Registered Democrat?

Jan 31, 2010

“We’ll get to the bottom of this,” says Commissioner Tim Finchem

San Diego, CA – The golf blogosphere is humming with rumors that Phil Mickelson may be a registered Democrat. “We’ll get to the bottom of this,” said PGA Commissioner Tim Finchem in a terse statement to the press.

“Tiger. Now this?” said a subdued source close to the PGA. “The whole organization is on suicide watch.”

Mickelson, the No. 1 ranked player in the world, recently said he had been slandered by Scott McCarron who accused him of cheating by using an illegal club.

“As soon as we heard the word ‘slander’ we suspected the worst,” said the PGA source. “The Democrat party supports all them trial lawyers who sue our advertisers.”

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Reader Responses

Jan 31, 2010 10:07 PM

Joey D

Mickelson's generous, intelligent, authentic, witty act only fools the clueless ... lefty's a pinko.

Play Ball with Stop-Motion

Elvis Sings The Bunker Blues

An eTrueSports audit has revealed that Tiger Woods' $750 million divorce settlement would pay for the adult male population of Lomita, CA (8,000) to each have a weekly escort service visit ($300/night) for the next six years.

After a rousing speech by Roger Clemens proclaiming his innocence to felony charges for lying to Congress, supporters in Katy, TX reported a flock of flying pigs rose from a nearby tree, circled the crowd and flew off into the sunset.

"However, this is a wakeup call," said Clemens after his perjury indictment. "I'm going to look closely at my lying."

Politico is reporting that former GOP House Majority Leader and fellow Texan Tom DeLay will advise Clemens, pro-bono, on how to employ smirking sanctimony to deny wrongdoing at his upcoming trial.

"We have enough potty-mouthed motherf..kers in the NFL," said NBC analyst Tony Dungy in blasting Jets' coach Rex Ryan for hiring former Jet Blue flight attendant Steven Slater as an Assistant Food Services Coach.

Responding to a tidal flow of fan protests over the "boring and stupid" New Meadowlands Stadium name, New Jersey officials announced the facility will be called "East Rutherford Just Off The Jersey Turnpike Field."

"It has nothing to do with Brad personally," commented Brett Favre about reports of a rift with Minnesota Viking's coach Brad Childress. "I just don't trust anyone who's bald and wears glasses."

World Extreme Cagefighting has applied to the International Olympic Committee to add cagefighting as an official event for the 2012 games in London.

"If he'd been my mother-in-law, none of this would have happened," said Francisco Rodriguez about the incident which resulted in his arrest for assaulting his father-in-law at Citi Field ... and a season-ending injury.

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<< Back PGA Rumor: Mickelson A Registered Democrat? Jan 31, 2010 “We’ll get to the bottom of this,” says Commissioner Tim Finchem San Diego, CA – The golf blogosphere is humming with rumors that Phil Mickelson may be a registered Democrat. “We’ll get to the bottom of this,” said PGA Commissioner Tim Finchem in a terse statement to the press. “Tiger. Now this?” said a subdued source close to the PGA. “The whole organization is on suicide watch.” Mickelson, the No. 1 ranked player in the world, recently said he had been slandered by Scott McCarron who accused him of cheating by using an illegal club. “As soon as we heard the word ‘slander’ we suspected the worst,” said the PGA source. “The Democrat party supports all them trial lawyers who sue our advertisers.” << Back Respond to this article \| Email this article to a friend Reader Responses Jan 31, 2010 10:07 PM Joey D Mickelson's generous, intelligent, authentic, witty act only fools the clueless ... lefty's a pinko. Play Ball with Stop-Motion Elvis Sings The Bunker Blues An eTrueSports audit has revealed that Tiger Woods' $750 million divorce settlement would pay for the adult male population of Lomita, CA (8,000) to each have a weekly escort service visit ($300/night) for the next six years. After a rousing speech by Roger Clemens proclaiming his innocence to felony charges for lying to Congress, supporters in Katy, TX reported a flock of flying pigs rose from a nearby tree, circled the crowd and flew off into the sunset. "However, this is a wakeup call," said Clemens after his perjury indictment. "I'm going to look closely at my lying." Politico is reporting that former GOP House Majority Leader and fellow Texan Tom DeLay will advise Clemens, pro-bono, on how to employ smirking sanctimony to deny wrongdoing at his upcoming trial. "We have enough potty-mouthed motherf..kers in the NFL," said NBC analyst Tony Dungy in blasting Jets' coach Rex Ryan for hiring former Jet Blue flight attendant Steven Slater as an Assistant Food Services Coach. Responding to a tidal flow of fan protests over the "boring and stupid" New Meadowlands Stadium name, New Jersey officials announced the facility will be called "East Rutherford Just Off The Jersey Turnpike Field." "It has nothing to do with Brad personally," commented Brett Favre about reports of a rift with Minnesota Viking's coach Brad Childress. "I just don't trust anyone who's bald and wears glasses." World Extreme Cagefighting has applied to the International Olympic Committee to add cagefighting as an official event for the 2012 games in London. "If he'd been my mother-in-law, none of this would have happened," said Francisco Rodriguez about the incident which resulted in his arrest for assaulting his father-in-law at Citi Field ... and a season-ending injury. Heard any good rumors? Email the publisher! eTrueSports Columnist Frank Coffey Top Eleven NHL Marketing Suggestions For The PGA eTrueSports Columnist Thomas Dolt Kobe Bryant's iPod Playlist eTrueSports Columnist Downs MacRury The Boras Files eTrueSports Columnist Ray Dougela Golf The Way It Oughta Be eTrueSports Columnist Burke Terry Baseball’s All-Time Business Name Team eTrueSports Columnist Chris Simmons The Chris Simmons "Inner-View": Jose Canseco eTrueSports Columnist Bookie Mom The N.B.A. – A League of Corruption Just a Phone Call Away Most Popular Stories A-Rod Says "Sorry" With Full-Body, Pinstripe Tattoo Mets Owner to Marry - Knicks Owner! Travis Henry Rushes To Spitzer's Side Mariah Carey Turns Down Offer From Kansas City Royals Carmelo: Google's SportsApologies Widget Works Great! Read All the News!		McCourt divorce prompts Torre to quit Wizard of Oz remake Scott Boras retreats to NewportBeachistan Fake ad attempts to embarrass Roger Clemens, Mr. Bush Packer backer? New movie hints at Favre return to Green Bay Cubs new logo may have played part in Piniella's retirement
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