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UFC To Merge With Indy Car Racing

Jan 29, 2010

Eye Gouging at 240 MPH 

Violence and Velocity, What's Not To Like?

Indianapolis, IN and Las Vegas, NV - Indy Car Racing announced a merger with Ultimate Fighting to form a new sport, Martial Carts, whose "RaceBouts", will feature, according to press materials, "eye gouging at 240 mph."

"We've been looking for years for a way to combine speed and violence to grow our sport," said a spokesman for IRL's corporate parent, Hulman and Co. "This is a marriage guraranteed to generate court orders of protection."

UFC's owners, Frank and Lorenzo Fertitta, said they looked forward to "new levels of bloodlust" and meeting Danica Patrick.

"Those Indy drivers are practically midgets," said a source close to Ultimate Fighting. "They're gonna get their butts kicked. Hell, anybody can learn how to drive."

 

 

 

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Reader Responses
Feb 2, 2010 11:22 AM
Worried
I hope to God this doesn't decrease the time Danny spends on her Go Daddy commercials.
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