eTrueSports Logo Tuesday, June 30th, 2015
 
<< Back

Knicks, Nets Join Hoboken CYO

Nov 12, 2009



"I Think We Can Be Competitive" - Knicks GM Donnie Walsh

New York - With one victory between them in their first 16 games, the two New York metropolitan-area professional basketball teams, the Knicks and Nets, have announced they are leaving the NBA to join the CYO league of Our Lady of Perpetual Help in Hoboken.
 
"It's a pretty good brand of ball," Knicks GM Donnie Walsh said. "But I think we can be competitive."
 
“Nyet comment” said the Nets’ prospective new Russian owner Mikhail Prokhorov, who was reached in Moscow. Prokhorov, the 6’9” billionaire Russian oligarch, is reportedly being investigated by Commissioner David Stern for calling Nets coach Lawrence Frank “shorter and dumber than Putin.”
 
In a related story, the Fort Wayne Mad Ants of the NBA D-League have applied to replace the Knicks in the tough Atlantic Division. “With the acquisition of Rob Kurz we now have five players,” said the Mad Ants’ coach Joey Meyer.

<< Back

Reader Responses
Nov 12, 2009 1:44 PM
Dukie4ever
About what are the Ants mad?
Nov 12, 2009 1:42 PM
Yo
Stern is in Frank's corner because Frank makes Stern look tall
  • More bad news for Phil Mickelson: In addition to a burgeoning $2.7 million illegal gambling scandal, the PGA is investigating rumors that the golfer may be a registered Democrat. “We’ll get to the bottom of this,” said Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem in a terse statement to the press.
  • Leapfrogging Roger Clemens and Lance Armstrong, Ted Cruz pulls ahead in Texas state poll for 2015 Delusional Narcissist of the Year award.
  • The Diablo Rojos of the Mexican Baseball League will sign Donald Trump as the team's official mascot. Move called counter-intuitive by some.
  • "I hate Commies and I hate borscht," said Carmelo Anthony after learning the Knicks drafted forward Kristaps Porzingis.
  • NFL reporter Andy Benoit has been named editor of Sports Illustrated's annual swimsuit issue. "Football's boring," said Benoit.
  • Befuddled Mets' owner Jeff Wilpon reportedly mistook former Mets' catcher Choo Choo Coleman for a Lionel train and tried to buy "him" for his vintage collection. "Choo Choo doesn't blow smoke?" Wilpon mumbled to a Mets' executive before having his internet privileges revoked. Again.
  • Martial arts organization UFC has pulled their invitation to Sean 'Diddy' Combs to speak at their annual leadership awards ceremony. "We can't afford to be embarrassed," said UFC president Dana White.
  • “Karma's a bitch, " said an American Buddhist Society spokesman after Tiger Woods shot 80 and 76 for a 16-over-par horrorshow at the U.S. Open.
  • Re: A Utah minor league team cancels Caucasian Night. Life imitates satire. Check our "Sterling Calls For Caucasian Classic" story on this page.
  • Heard any good rumors?
    Email the publisher!