eTrueSports Logo Friday, July 29th, 2016
 
<< Back

Stern: NBA Not "Going Commie?

Sep 25, 2009

Fox's Glenn Beck Says Pinkos Are Everywhere
 
New York - After encouraging a Russian investor to take over the New Jersey Nets, NBA Commissioner David Stern is denying charges that he is moving the 60-year-old league  toward Communism. “The NBA will not go red on my watch,” said Stern. “Yes, Mikhail  Prokhorov is a Russian but he’s no communist or socialist. Heck, he even paid for dinner last night.”
 
Responding to the report, leading neo-conservative pundit Glenn Beck called basketball “an important employer of grateful imported people” and tearfully called on the NBA to “protect America against Russkies and other pinkos who are everywhere.” 

Beck vehemently denied a report that his television variety show was planning on dropping selected Communists into boiling water during upcoming sweeps week.
 
“I would never sell my soul for money," said Fox's Beck. "That wouldn’t be right."

<< Back

Reader Responses
Sep 26, 2009 9:38 AM
Yo
Yeah, but he'd sell it for better ratings.
And a hooker.
Sep 26, 2009 2:11 AM
Joey D
Deeply, deeply bent. Kudos.
  • SITE REDESIGN IN PROGRESS: NEW STORIES CAN BE FOUND AT etruesports.net
  • Following Jerry Jones' comment that it was "absurd" to link football with chronic traumatic encephalopathy (C.T.E.) disease The Flat Earth Society has withdrawn an invitation to Cowboys owner to address their annual convention. "We can't afford to be embarrassed," said a Flat Earth spokesman.
  • Trump Razor Wire mogul's next venture sources tell eTrueSports. "If Donald's elected, best investment ever," says Trump insider.
  • Trump campaign pulls invite to Hall of Famer Goose Gossage to address Miami rally. "We can't afford to be embarrassed," says spokesman.
  • Paul O'Neill calls for hummus ban at Yankee Stadium. "Terrorists eat it," explained YES Network announcer and Trump supporter.
  • Citing opposition to re-branding state name, sources close to Trump say mogul abandons plan to buy Florida prior to Republican primary on Tuesday, March 15th.
  • Trump demands Knicks' rookie Porzingis produce birth certificate. "Kristaps? You call that an American name?"
  • "Who doesn't love the Indy 500?" said Donald Trump after being endorsed yesterday by NASCAR CEO Brian France.
  • Fast food chain Trumpy's Tacos files for bankruptcy. "Hispanics know nuthin about Mex food," says owner Donald Trump.
  • Heard any good rumors?
    Email the publisher!