Stern: NBA Not "Going Commie” * Russian Purchase of New Jersey Nets Applauded

Stern: NBA Not "Going Commie”

Sep 25, 2009

Fox's Glenn Beck Says Pinkos Are Everywhere

New York - After encouraging a Russian investor to take over the New Jersey Nets, NBA Commissioner David Stern is denying charges that he is moving the 60-year-old league toward Communism. “The NBA will not go red on my watch,” said Stern. “Yes, Mikhail Prokhorov is a Russian but he’s no communist or socialist. Heck, he even paid for dinner last night.”

Responding to the report, leading neo-conservative pundit Glenn Beck called basketball “an important employer of grateful imported people” and tearfully called on the NBA to “protect America against Russkies and other pinkos who are everywhere.”

Beck vehemently denied a report that his television variety show was planning on dropping selected Communists into boiling water during upcoming sweeps week.

“I would never sell my soul for money," said Fox's Beck. "That wouldn’t be right."

<< Back

Respond to this article | Email this article to a friend

Reader Responses

Sep 26, 2009 9:38 AM

Yeah, but he'd sell it for better ratings.
And a hooker.

Sep 26, 2009 2:11 AM

Joey D

Deeply, deeply bent. Kudos.

Did A Woman Play For The Senators?

Brett Favre's Lost 2008 Jets Promotional Music Video

After learning that Red Bull is an official sponsor of the U.S. Olympic Committee, political activist and author Sarah Palin is demanding President Obama immediately oust “all commies” from the United States Olympic Committee.

“I wish I’d just beaten the shit out of them,” said a wistful Jets coach Rex Ryan after learning he had been fined $50,000 for a caught-on-video obscene gesture towards fans at an MMA event.

BREAKING NEWS: Craig James mediation settlement: Coach Mike Leach will promise not to lock concussed football players in dark rooms; Texas Tech school officials will admit they are gutless weenies.

"I'll never buy another Impala SS," announced an angry Sarah Palin, after learning Chevron had unexpectedly cancelled its sponsorship of Alaska's Iditarod race.

eTrueSports has learned former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich will not be rehired as a part-time mascot for the Toledo Mud Hens. “He scared the younger fans,” said a source close to the Mud Hens.

A month after celebrating his 34th birthday, Tiger Woods reported mail theft to the Windermere, FL police because he had not received birthday cards from any of his friends.

Fox Sports announced American Idle, a new primetime reality show featuring bench warmers from a variety of professional sports competing to see who has contributed the least to their team. Lakers’ Adam Morrison is set to host.

No snow job. eTrueSports has learned the Vancouver Organzing Committee has moved the men's and women's alpine events to North Carolina's Smokey Mountains.

With the NCAA Basketball Tournament a month away, the UConn Huskies women’s team has quietly dropped an exhibition game against the New Jersey Nets. “Teams play to the level of their competition,” explained coach Geno Auriemma.

Heard any good rumors?
Email the publisher!

eTrueSports Columnist

Frank Coffey

Top Eleven NHL Marketing Suggestions For The PGA

eTrueSports Columnist

Thomas Dolt

Kobe Bryant's iPod Playlist

eTrueSports Columnist

Downs MacRury

The Boras Files

eTrueSports Columnist

Ray Dougela

Golf The Way It Oughta Be

eTrueSports Columnist

Burke Terry

Baseball’s All-Time Business Name Team

eTrueSports Columnist

Chris Simmons

The Chris Simmons "Inner-View": Jose Canseco

eTrueSports Columnist

Bookie Mom

The N.B.A. – A League of Corruption Just a Phone Call Away

	Tuesday, February 9th, 2010
Home Video Archive Columns Gallery About Us Contact Links Press Room Widgets Merchandise
<< Back Stern: NBA Not "Going Commie” Sep 25, 2009 Fox's Glenn Beck Says Pinkos Are Everywhere New York - After encouraging a Russian investor to take over the New Jersey Nets, NBA Commissioner David Stern is denying charges that he is moving the 60-year-old league toward Communism. “The NBA will not go red on my watch,” said Stern. “Yes, Mikhail Prokhorov is a Russian but he’s no communist or socialist. Heck, he even paid for dinner last night.” Responding to the report, leading neo-conservative pundit Glenn Beck called basketball “an important employer of grateful imported people” and tearfully called on the NBA to “protect America against Russkies and other pinkos who are everywhere.” Beck vehemently denied a report that his television variety show was planning on dropping selected Communists into boiling water during upcoming sweeps week. “I would never sell my soul for money," said Fox's Beck. "That wouldn’t be right." << Back Respond to this article \| Email this article to a friend Reader Responses Sep 26, 2009 9:38 AM Yo Yeah, but he'd sell it for better ratings. And a hooker. Sep 26, 2009 2:11 AM Joey D Deeply, deeply bent. Kudos. Did A Woman Play For The Senators? Brett Favre's Lost 2008 Jets Promotional Music Video After learning that Red Bull is an official sponsor of the U.S. Olympic Committee, political activist and author Sarah Palin is demanding President Obama immediately oust “all commies” from the United States Olympic Committee. “I wish I’d just beaten the shit out of them,” said a wistful Jets coach Rex Ryan after learning he had been fined $50,000 for a caught-on-video obscene gesture towards fans at an MMA event. BREAKING NEWS: Craig James mediation settlement: Coach Mike Leach will promise not to lock concussed football players in dark rooms; Texas Tech school officials will admit they are gutless weenies. "I'll never buy another Impala SS," announced an angry Sarah Palin, after learning Chevron had unexpectedly cancelled its sponsorship of Alaska's Iditarod race. eTrueSports has learned former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich will not be rehired as a part-time mascot for the Toledo Mud Hens. “He scared the younger fans,” said a source close to the Mud Hens. A month after celebrating his 34th birthday, Tiger Woods reported mail theft to the Windermere, FL police because he had not received birthday cards from any of his friends. Fox Sports announced American Idle, a new primetime reality show featuring bench warmers from a variety of professional sports competing to see who has contributed the least to their team. Lakers’ Adam Morrison is set to host. No snow job. eTrueSports has learned the Vancouver Organzing Committee has moved the men's and women's alpine events to North Carolina's Smokey Mountains. With the NCAA Basketball Tournament a month away, the UConn Huskies women’s team has quietly dropped an exhibition game against the New Jersey Nets. “Teams play to the level of their competition,” explained coach Geno Auriemma. Heard any good rumors? Email the publisher! eTrueSports Columnist Frank Coffey Top Eleven NHL Marketing Suggestions For The PGA eTrueSports Columnist Thomas Dolt Kobe Bryant's iPod Playlist eTrueSports Columnist Downs MacRury The Boras Files eTrueSports Columnist Ray Dougela Golf The Way It Oughta Be eTrueSports Columnist Burke Terry Baseball’s All-Time Business Name Team eTrueSports Columnist Chris Simmons The Chris Simmons "Inner-View": Jose Canseco eTrueSports Columnist Bookie Mom The N.B.A. – A League of Corruption Just a Phone Call Away Most Popular Stories A-Rod Says "Sorry" With Full-Body, Pinstripe Tattoo Mets Owner to Marry - Knicks Owner! Travis Henry Rushes To Spitzer's Side Mariah Carey Turns Down Offer From Kansas City Royals Carmelo: Google's SportsApologies Widget Works Great! Read All the News!		Who Will Be This Season's Hero? Knicks' Latest LeBron James Pitch Unveiled Mark McGwire. Next. Up. Starring Sarah Palin, Directed by Sarah Palin, Sorta written by Cubs New Logo Unveiled
Terms of Service ©2007 eTrueSports.com Privacy Policy