eTrueSports Logo Monday, December 22nd, 2014
 
<< Back

Wang's World: Yankees Ban Chinese Food

Apr 20, 2009



 
Chien-Ming Wang's Disastrous Outing Prompts Action
 
“He’s Spending Too Much Time At The Soy Kitchen Before Games”
 
New York - Blame it on the MSG? Yankee starter Chien-Ming Wang has given up more runs in his first three starts, 23, than any Yankee pitcher in the team’s 96-year history. Wang’s E.R.A. is a stunning 34.50. In his last start, Saturday, the Yankees surrendered 14 runs in the second inning to the Cleveland Indians, the most runs the team has ever allowed in any inning.
 
The New York Yankees are an organization that does not suffer embarrassment well. Wang's atrocious numbers meant something had to give. Today, after nearly two days of deliberations, the Yankees announced they would go to the heart – well, stomach – of the matter, instituting an immediate ban on Chinese food at the new Yankee Stadium.
 
“Wang is spending too much time at the Chinese food concession before games,” said one Yankee official who, understandably, insisted his name be withheld in exchange for speaking to a reporter. “If he were an Italian with a 34 E.R.A., we’d keep him away from manicotti,” continued the official. “This has nothing to do with ethnicity; he’s a chow hound, plain and simple. And he's getting lit up.”
 
Wang, 29, who gave up 8 runs on 8 hits in one and third innings on Saturday, and has surrendered 23 hits in five and a third innings this season, said he’d “do anything” to help the team. Well, almost anything. The quiet right-hander quickly announced he would file a dim sum dispensation protest with Major League Baseball. “I hope this doesn't make Joe (Girardi) mad," said Wang, referring to the Yankees' manager. "Dim sum are just like ravioli, so I think Joe will understand why I shouldn't be asked to give them up.”
 
When informed of the dim sum appeal, a visibly agitated Jorge Posada, the Yankees' veteran catcher, sarcastically said, “I hear they got good dim sum in Wilkes-Barre.” New York’s Triple-A farm club is located in Wilkes Barre, PA, a city not known for fine Chinese cuisine.

In Wang's native Taiwan, where the third player of Taiwanese descent to play in the major leagues is a national hero, scores of protests erupted. The spontaneous so-called Hot Dog Parties featured angry speeches and towering bonfires of burning wieners.   

<< Back

Reader Responses
Apr 20, 2009 8:21 AM
Dukie4ever
uh duh!  MSG=monosodiumglutimate. 

BTW, the China House Buffet (683 Casey Ave, Wilkes Barre) is offering a "pick 34" from column A OR column B special this week for anyone wearing a Yankees uniform.
Apr 20, 2009 8:18 AM
Yo
MSG?  Why blame it on the Garden?
  • Attention Merril Hoge: Despite 30-0 loss to Bengals, QB Johnny Manziel was Cleveland's 2nd leading rusher with 13 yards. In only five carries.
  • Following the surprising news that the Knicks would move to the NBA's D-league, Phil Jackson's fiancée, the Lakers' Jeanie Buss, has refused to go house hunting in Fort Wayne, Indiana, sources have told eTrueSports.
  • In Dog Show news, Sarah Palin has called for the banning of Afghan Hounds from all U.S. competitions. "They're foreign," explained Palin.
  • “Karma never forgets," said a spokesman for the American Buddhist Society commenting on Tiger Woods' tied for last-place finish at the Hero World Challenge.
  • Sources close to Condoleezza Rice deny that the incoming NFL Commissioner is pressuring Dan Snyder to change his team's name to the Washington Mushroom Clouds.
  • The American Birther Party has withdrawn an invitation to former Chicago Bear player and coach Mike Ditka to address their annual convention in Idaho. "We can't afford to be embarrassed," a Birther spokesman told eTrueSports.
  • According to A.C. Neilsen, Fox analyst Harold Reynolds was muted 1,287,354 times during the sixth inning of World Series Game 2, a network television record.
  • SF Giants reliever Hunter Strickland will not be rehired as a mascot for the NBA's Atlanta Hawks, an off-season job the Georgia native has held for three years. "We're afraid he'll scare the younger fans,” a source told eTrueSports.
  • After discovering his NFL health care plan doesn't cover concussions, commissioner Roger Goodell announced he will no longer call Native Americans "Redskins" to their faces.
  • Heard any good rumors?
    Email the publisher!