Blago Out As BCS Chief

Apr 2, 2009

Ex-Gov Just Can't Keep A Job

"Who Ever Would Have Predicted This?" Says BCS Committee

Chicago - Former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich, appointed BCS chief in January, is out of another job.

With federal prosecutors charging him on Thursday with 16 felony counts including racketeering, conspiracy, wire fraud, conspiracy, lying to federal prosecutors and having shit-for-brains, Blagojevich was fired by the BCS's  Executive Committee.

"Who would have ever predicted this?" said one stunned BCS committee member. 

“Let's rock," said an ebullient Blagojevich from Disney World as he clambered off his favorite ride, Dumbo The Elephant. "I think my trial will be a blast for everyone involved," added the vacationing ex-Gov before heading for the Mad Tea Party,  his "second-most favorite ride."

Blagojevich said he would call as witnesses his predecessor as governor, George Ryan, a Republican who was found guilty of corruption charges and is currently in prison, and R. Kelly, the rap singer who was found not guilty of making a sex tape with a teenage girl.

 “R's testimony will be compelling,” predicted Blagojevich, “he got off scott free!” 

Blagojevich was impeached and removed from office in January after his December 9 arrest for soliciting bribes to name a replacement for President-elect Barack Obama’s Illinois Senate seat. 

“Roddy is one of the funniest men you’ll ever meet,” said a BCS spokesman, "we're going to miss the  heck out of him."

During his political career the ex-Governor, a former Democratic Cook County assistant State’s Attorney and Illinois State Assemblyman, has been a strong advocate of tougher sentencing.

"I'm reevaluating some of my positions," explained Blagojevich.
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Original story (January 27, 2009):

“There’s A New Sheriff In Town”

Chicago – Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich will be named 2009 Bowl Championship Series Chairman, replacing the outgoing Mike Slive, Commissioner of the SEC. The rumor was first reported by eTrueSports in mid-December.

“There’s a new sheriff in town,” said Blagojevich, a noted reformer. “I will bring transparency, rigorous analysis and easy-to-fill-out deposit slips to the BCS system.”

Blagojevich’s relationship with football includes his signature “helmet” hairdo (a sporting look adopted by many celebrities, including music producer Phil Spector), an homage to the governor’s beloved Chicago Bears. As Governor, Blagojevich was obsessive about having a hairbrush – called “The Football” – within reach at all times. (The Football pet name was a humorous allusion to “nuclear football” – the bomb codes which always accompany the U.S. President.)

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