New York – Domino's Pizza has delivered a pie in the face to struggling Citigroup, now the former sponsor of the new 2009 Mets ballpark. In a decidedly hostile takeover, Citi Field will now be known as Domino’s Pizza Field, the first MLB stadium to be named after a pizza. 

 

“We figured they’re using our logo anyway, so screw ‘em,” said David A. Brandon, Chairman and CEO of Domino’s Pizza in explaining the decision to oust Citigroup from Flushing .

 

Brandon was referring to the recently revealed – and universally lampooned - Mets inaugural patch which is strikingly similar to Domino’s logo.

In another controversial move, Domino executives say they will replace the statue of Jackie Robinson in the Pizza Field rotunda with a lifesize replica of a Domino's delivery man.

 

“Sometimes you have to think ‘inside’ the box,” explained Brandon, “the pizza box. We know what people want: A slice at the 7^th inning stretch. Domino’s and the Mets is a no-brainer.”

 

Brandon framed the takeover as a favor to the Mets organization and their fans. “These days, would you want your business associated with a bank? Gimme a break."

Citigroup’s financial woes provided an opportunity for the big boys from Domino's to swoop in and grab the stadium naming rights. "Arrivederci, bank boys," added Brandon, "don't let the gates smack you in the butt on the way out."

 

Citing a more “playful” approach, Brandon also announced, tongue firmly in cheek, that Domino’s Take Out Luxury Boxes would feature “big cheeses, upper crust all the way, with loads of dough and plenty of hot tomatoes.”

 

“Now I will get free pizza,” commented Mets’ pitcher Johan Santana, who later expressed concern about whether toppings would also be included gratis.

 

As part of the takeover, Domino's is reportedly pressuring the Mets to replace Jerry Manuel with Mike Piazza. “No comment,” said one Met official who asked not to be identified, "except to say this whole deal is a run on the bank.”

 

Mets fans reacted positively to the Domino’s move. “Pizza is a New York institution,” said a dog walker on the upper Westside. “You can’t eat a bank.”