Marino: “When Was The Last Time You Heard Of An Episcopalian Being Canned?” 

 

New York - The Italian-American Civil Rights League has filed a protest with the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights over the firing of NFL coaches Rod Marinelli, Eric Mangini and Romeo Crennel.
“If you have a vowel at the end of your name,” said Commission member Todd Gaziano, “you got a target on your back. That’s gonna stop. Capeesh?”

 

Explaining the surprising inclusion of Romeo Crennel – not previously identified as of Italian descent – Gaziano said, “We have it on good authority that his grandfather changed the family name from Crennelli. Anybody who’s ever seen Romeo dig into a plate of Osso Bucco knows he’s one of us.”

 

“I feel a tad lonely,” commented Miami Dolphins’ coach Tony Sparano, the NFL’s last remaining Italian-American coach. 

 

“Ask yourself this question,” said the usually controversy-avoidant Hall of Fame quarterback Dan Marino, “when was the last time you heard of an Episcopalian coach being canned?”

Quickly jumping on the contretemps bandwagon, Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig issued a statement saying, “Clearly, Major League Baseball has a greater appreciation for the contributions of our Italian-American brothers and sisters than the NFL. Roger Goodell should be ashamed of himself.”

 

“I will never eat in Jake’s Deli again,” vowed NFL Commissioner Goodell, referencing the Milwaukee delicatessen partly owned by Selig.