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O.J. Named Commissioner of National Penitentiary League
Las Vegas – Just because you’re a convict, doesn’t mean you have to be on the sideline. O.J. Simpson, for example, has just been named the first Commissioner of the National Penitentiary League (NPL), a joint venture with Jerry Jones, owner of The Dallas Cowboys.
“We call it Extreme Football. If you can play we don’t care what you did,” the Cowboys' Jones assured potential candidates in a recruiting letter sent to federal and state prisoners. “This ain't The Longest Yard. This ain't a movie."
The league's first franchise has been awarded to Michael Vick and the Leavenworth Lugnuts. Maurice Clarett, former Ohio State All-American running back, is reportedly set to lead the Toledo Correctional Institute’s Slackjaws. Other franchises will include the Rikers Island Rage and the Alcatraz Attitude.
There has been widespread blogosphere conjecture that franchises will be granted "in absentia" to Pacman Jones and Tank Johnson, with the expectation that both players would nab Federal or State roster spots in the near future.
Baltimore Ravens All-Pro linebacker Ray Lewis was despondent at the NPL announcement. “Hearing that the NPL is a reality - and not being a part of it -is bittersweet,” said a teary Lewis. “If life had taken a different turn, I could have been part of history. But I’ll get there some day,” vowed Lewis.
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Las Vegas – Just because you’re a convict, doesn’t mean you have to be on the sideline. O.J. Simpson, for example, has just been named the first Commissioner of the National Penitentiary League (NPL), a joint venture with Jerry Jones, owner of The Dallas Cowboys. “I’m glad I’m finally in jail for the forseeable future because my dream has always been to pioneer a penitentiary football league,” said an upbeat Simpson.
“We call it Extreme Football. If you can play we don’t care what you did,” the Cowboys' Jones assured potential candidates in a recruiting letter sent to federal and state prisoners. “This ain't The Longest Yard. This ain't a movie."But it will be a television show. Simpson and Jones are in final negotiations for a $4 billion broadcast deal with Fox Sports, which will market NPL to the growing gangbanger/computer programmer demographic.
The league's first franchise has been awarded to Michael Vick and the Leavenworth Lugnuts. Maurice Clarett, former Ohio State All-American running back, is reportedly set to lead the Toledo Correctional Institute’s Slackjaws. Other franchises will include the Rikers Island Rage and the Alcatraz Attitude.There has been widespread blogosphere conjecture that franchises will be granted "in absentia" to Pacman Jones and Tank Johnson, with the expectation that both players would nab Federal or State roster spots in the near future.We’re hoping that Plaxico Burress will be available soon too,” Simpson added.
Not everyone was cheering.
Baltimore Ravens All-Pro linebacker Ray Lewis was despondent at the NPL announcement. “Hearing that the NPL is a reality - and not being a part of it -is bittersweet,” said a teary Lewis. “If life had taken a different turn, I could have been part of history. But I’ll get there some day,” vowed Lewis.When former NBA ref Tim Donaghy - currently serving a 15-month term at Saufley Field Federal Prison Camp - heard about the NPL, he issued a statement volunteering to switch from basketball to football referring. “The NPL refs ought to be convicts too,” said Donaghy.
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