Favre To Patriots? * Grits Dispute Prompts Trade Demand

Favre To Patriots?

Sep 8, 2008

Grits Dispute Prompts Trade Demand

New York – Despite an opening game victory over the Miami Dolphins, Brett Favre has requested that the New York Jets trade him “immediately” to the suddenly Tom Brady-less New England Patriots.

“I just looked in my heart and decided I wanted to play up in Boston,” said Favre, who admitted that a recent "grit ban" imposed by Jets' coach Eric Mangini played a role in his decision.

Rumors of bad blood between Jets’ head coach, Eric Mangini and Favre have been circulating on the web for a week. One NFL source, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said the differences were “cuisine-based.” It seems, according to this source, that last week at a team meal, Favre requested grits be served. Mangini, instead, provided bowls of polenta and remarked, “Corn’s corn” - prompting Favre to storm out of the room.

Another source, inside the Jets organization, confirmed the corn story, and added that the two had, on another recent occasion, nearly come to blow over tubers, with Favre favoring potato au gratin, Mangini, gnocchi. (Guess which made the Jets menu.)

In a hastily arranged press conference minutes after Favre’s abrupt departure, the Jets announced the signing of 45-year-old Vinnie Testaverde.

“He’s more my kind,” explained Mangini.

"I'm a gnocchi type of guy," Testaverde said in a written statement.

After learning of Favre’s demand, New England Patriot officials described coach Bill Belichick as “speechless again.”

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Play Ball with Stop-Motion

Elvis Sings The Bunker Blues

After a rousing speech by Roger Clemens proclaiming his innocence to felony charges for lying to Congress, supporters in Katy, TX reported a flock of flying pigs rose from a nearby tree, circled the crowd and flew off into the sunset.

"However, this is a wakeup call," said Clemens after his perjury indictment. "I'm going to look closely at my lying."

Politico is reporting that former GOP House Majority Leader and fellow Texan Tom DeLay will advise Clemens, pro-bono, on how to employ smirking sanctimony to deny wrongdoing at his upcoming trial.

"We have enough potty-mouthed motherf..kers in the NFL," said NBC analyst Tony Dungy in blasting Jets' coach Rex Ryan for hiring former Jet Blue flight attendant Steven Slater as an Assistant Food Services Coach.

Responding to a tidal flow of fan protests over the "boring and stupid" New Meadowlands Stadium name, New Jersey officials announced the facility will be called "East Rutherford Just Off The Jersey Turnpike Field."

"It has nothing to do with Brad personally," commented Brett Favre about reports of a rift with Minnesota Viking's coach Brad Childress. "I just don't trust anyone who's bald and wears glasses."

World Extreme Cagefighting has applied to the International Olympic Committee to add cagefighting as an official event for the 2012 games in London.

"If he'd been my mother-in-law, none of this would have happened," said Francisco Rodriguez about the incident which resulted in his arrest for assaulting his father-in-law at Citi Field ... and a season-ending injury.

"My hand hurts," said Dustin Johnson after failing to write "I will not ground my club in bunkers anymore" 1,000 times on Whistling Straits' main blackboard. "He's 11 sentences short," said a PGA spokesman in announcing Johnson's immediate suspension. "Rules are rules."

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<< Back Favre To Patriots? Sep 8, 2008 Grits Dispute Prompts Trade Demand New York – Despite an opening game victory over the Miami Dolphins, Brett Favre has requested that the New York Jets trade him “immediately” to the suddenly Tom Brady-less New England Patriots. “I just looked in my heart and decided I wanted to play up in Boston,” said Favre, who admitted that a recent "grit ban" imposed by Jets' coach Eric Mangini played a role in his decision. Rumors of bad blood between Jets’ head coach, Eric Mangini and Favre have been circulating on the web for a week. One NFL source, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said the differences were “cuisine-based.” It seems, according to this source, that last week at a team meal, Favre requested grits be served. Mangini, instead, provided bowls of polenta and remarked, “Corn’s corn” - prompting Favre to storm out of the room. Another source, inside the Jets organization, confirmed the corn story, and added that the two had, on another recent occasion, nearly come to blow over tubers, with Favre favoring potato au gratin, Mangini, gnocchi. (Guess which made the Jets menu.) In a hastily arranged press conference minutes after Favre’s abrupt departure, the Jets announced the signing of 45-year-old Vinnie Testaverde. “He’s more my kind,” explained Mangini. "I'm a gnocchi type of guy," Testaverde said in a written statement. After learning of Favre’s demand, New England Patriot officials described coach Bill Belichick as “speechless again.” << Back Respond to this article \| Email this article to a friend Reader Responses No responses for this article Play Ball with Stop-Motion Elvis Sings The Bunker Blues After a rousing speech by Roger Clemens proclaiming his innocence to felony charges for lying to Congress, supporters in Katy, TX reported a flock of flying pigs rose from a nearby tree, circled the crowd and flew off into the sunset. "However, this is a wakeup call," said Clemens after his perjury indictment. "I'm going to look closely at my lying." Politico is reporting that former GOP House Majority Leader and fellow Texan Tom DeLay will advise Clemens, pro-bono, on how to employ smirking sanctimony to deny wrongdoing at his upcoming trial. "We have enough potty-mouthed motherf..kers in the NFL," said NBC analyst Tony Dungy in blasting Jets' coach Rex Ryan for hiring former Jet Blue flight attendant Steven Slater as an Assistant Food Services Coach. Responding to a tidal flow of fan protests over the "boring and stupid" New Meadowlands Stadium name, New Jersey officials announced the facility will be called "East Rutherford Just Off The Jersey Turnpike Field." "It has nothing to do with Brad personally," commented Brett Favre about reports of a rift with Minnesota Viking's coach Brad Childress. "I just don't trust anyone who's bald and wears glasses." World Extreme Cagefighting has applied to the International Olympic Committee to add cagefighting as an official event for the 2012 games in London. "If he'd been my mother-in-law, none of this would have happened," said Francisco Rodriguez about the incident which resulted in his arrest for assaulting his father-in-law at Citi Field ... and a season-ending injury. "My hand hurts," said Dustin Johnson after failing to write "I will not ground my club in bunkers anymore" 1,000 times on Whistling Straits' main blackboard. "He's 11 sentences short," said a PGA spokesman in announcing Johnson's immediate suspension. "Rules are rules." Heard any good rumors? Email the publisher! eTrueSports Columnist Frank Coffey Top Eleven NHL Marketing Suggestions For The PGA eTrueSports Columnist Thomas Dolt Kobe Bryant's iPod Playlist eTrueSports Columnist Downs MacRury The Boras Files eTrueSports Columnist Ray Dougela Golf The Way It Oughta Be eTrueSports Columnist Burke Terry Baseball’s All-Time Business Name Team eTrueSports Columnist Chris Simmons The Chris Simmons "Inner-View": Jose Canseco eTrueSports Columnist Bookie Mom The N.B.A. – A League of Corruption Just a Phone Call Away Most Popular Stories A-Rod Says "Sorry" With Full-Body, Pinstripe Tattoo Mets Owner to Marry - Knicks Owner! Travis Henry Rushes To Spitzer's Side Mariah Carey Turns Down Offer From Kansas City Royals Carmelo: Google's SportsApologies Widget Works Great! Read All the News!		McCourt divorce prompts Torre to quit Wizard of Oz remake "Not to worry, Strasberg check already cashed," says agent Fake ad attempts to embarrass Roger Clemens, Mr. Bush Packer backer? New movie hints at Favre return to Green Bay Cubs new logo may have played part in Piniella's retirement
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