eTrueSports Logo Tuesday, July 7th, 2015
 
<< Back

NBC Denies Matt Lauer Was CGI-Generated

Aug 12, 2008


Like The Fireworks, Like The Kid Singer, Was Matt Lauer Fake?

"He's All Too Real," says NBC Spokesman

New York – Following news that the Olympic Opening Ceremony's fireworks and signature song were both faked, NBC is denying a report that event co-host, Matt Lauer was, in fact, a CGI-created version of himself.

Celebrity blog TMZ broke the story shortly after London’s Telegraph newspaper revealed that the spectacular “live” fireworks NBC aired during the Olympic Opening Ceremony were, in fact, computer generated graphics. In other words, they were phony.
 
Then came news that the lovely Chinese child supposedly singing Ode To the Motherland was miming, a replacement for the real singer whose buck-teeth were deemed by Chinese officials as too unattractive to appear on television. Further fakery.
 
That got the TMZ folks thinking about Mr. Lauer performance co-anchoring the Opening Ceremonies.
 
“We analyzed ‘Lauer’s’ speech and movement and found them to be oddly wooden, even for him,” said a TMZ spokesman. “When we compared ‘Lauer’s’ routine to Disney’s WALL-E, we found eerie similarities.”
 
Further TMZ examination suggested that the life-like “Matt Lauer” - watched by the largest audience in television history, over 4 billion worldwide - was modeled with Houdini software, rendered in Pixar’s RenderMan software program, and was literally a cartoon.
 
In other words, like the fireworks, like the kid singer, Matt Lauer was fake.
 
“We believe the purported Matt Lauer figure on American’s television screens during last Friday’s Opening Ceremonies was animated,” said the TMZ spokesman. “If so, this may be the biggest hoax in American media history.”
 
An NBC statement made clear the network was not denying that Lauer is animated – as in “endowed with life or the qualities of life” – pointing out these are qualities the Today co-host “often evidences on weekday mornings” – but, rather, denying that on Friday night the Matt Lauer the world saw was an animated cartoon figure.

"Trust me, he's all too real," said an NBC official who asked not to be identified.
 
“I am full of vigor and spirit,” said Lauer in a statement also denying the report. “Just ask the craft service people about trying to stop me from grabbing extra donuts.”
 

 

 

<< Back

Reader Responses
No responses for this article
  • Breaking: Tiger Woods to re-enter sex clinic to improve scoring.
  • More bad news for Phil Mickelson: In addition to a burgeoning $2.7 million illegal gambling scandal, the PGA is investigating rumors that the golfer may be a registered Democrat. “We’ll get to the bottom of this,” said Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem in a terse statement to the press.
  • Leapfrogging Roger Clemens and Lance Armstrong, Ted Cruz pulls ahead in Texas state poll for 2015 Delusional Narcissist of the Year award.
  • The Diablo Rojos of the Mexican Baseball League will sign Donald Trump as the team's official mascot. Move called counter-intuitive by some.
  • "I hate Commies and I hate borscht," said Carmelo Anthony after learning the Knicks drafted forward Kristaps Porzingis.
  • NFL reporter Andy Benoit has been named editor of Sports Illustrated's annual swimsuit issue. "Football's boring," said Benoit.
  • Befuddled Mets' owner Jeff Wilpon reportedly mistook former Mets' catcher Choo Choo Coleman for a Lionel train and tried to buy "him" for his vintage collection. "Choo Choo doesn't blow smoke?" Wilpon mumbled to a Mets' executive before having his internet privileges revoked. Again.
  • Martial arts organization UFC has pulled their invitation to Sean 'Diddy' Combs to speak at their annual leadership awards ceremony. "We can't afford to be embarrassed," said UFC president Dana White.
  • “Karma's a bitch, " said an American Buddhist Society spokesman after Tiger Woods shot 80 and 76 for a 16-over-par horrorshow at the U.S. Open.
  • Heard any good rumors?
    Email the publisher!