Los Angeles – “Fannie is obsessed with me,” said ex-MLB All-Star Jose Canesco about 'Fannie Mae,'  who he desribed as the mortgage executive at the heart of the U.S. real estate banking crisis. “I’ve cut it off,” explained Canseco, “and told her to get back to running her organization, which is kinda like a bank. I think.

 

“I am deeply sorry for my role in distracting Ms. Mae,” added Canseco, who said the torrid affair began when the banking executive contacted him about taking out a second mortgage on his Miami home.

"Mr. Jose Canseco has nothing whatever to do with the current mortgage finance crisis," said Ben S. Bernanke, the embattled chairman of the Federal Reserve Board.  

 
"I kept telling Joe that he was mixed up," said Fannie Rae Petaluma, a self-described "bank teller and free-lance exotic dancer," from her home in Green Valley, Nevada, a suburb of Las Vegas. "I love him to pieces, but he's not a great listener." 

Coming on the heels of revelations that pop singer Madonna wanted to “make Cuban babies" with him, the explosive Fanne Mae news puts Canseco, a leading social critic and commentator, once again in an unwanted media glare.

 

“I’m a private person,” said Canseco, on his way to a satellite press conference concerning the Cynthia and Alex Rodriguez marriage.

 

“I just want to be left alone.”

Some observers, after watching Canseco's recent first round knockout at the hands of diminutive ex-NFL kick returner Vai Sikahema, questioned the former slugger's reasoning. "He looked pretty alone in the ring the other night," said one wag, "and that didn't work out too good."