Top Eleven Things A-Rod and Madonna Can Do Together * 1. Hot oil their gloves

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Top Eleven Things A-Rod and Madonna Can Do Together

Jul 7, 2008

Madonna playing catch with New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez

11. Polish A-Rod's helmet

10. Work on double play with Gwyneth

9. Jet to Paris to have cordial, can't-we-be-friends dinner with Lenny and Cyn

8. Get right to work on their Dancing With The Stars routines

7. How about a game of "Switch Hitter?"

6. Torch the publisher’s warehouse where copies of Chris Ciccone’s book “Life With My Sister Madonna” are stored

5. Play a little Hotbox and Fungo

4. Begin writing Material Girl Meets Material Boy

3. Practice on Alex's Infield Fly, being careful not to get too sticky and sweet

2. While watching A League of Their Own, fast (4x) forward through Madonna’s baseball scenes

1. Hot oil their gloves

Madonna will take Alex Rodriguez on Sticky and Sweet 2008 Tour

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Reader Responses

Jul 10, 2008 3:28 PM

When there is an age difference like this (what 17-18 years?) it would be called a May-December romance. I'd call this one a "June-until she stops needing publicity for her latest venture" romance. Does anyone remember the Madonna-Beatty face-sucking during the filming and promotion for Dick Tracy?

Jul 8, 2008 9:43 AM

Kimbo S.

Hot oil their gloves? Great!!!!!

Jul 7, 2008 5:22 PM

Dukie4ever

If they get serious, A-Rod may have to sign a pre-nup. Hers.

Jul 7, 2008 12:28 PM

FireChief

Hysterical!

Bill Lumbergh Lives

Play Ball with Stop-Motion

Elvis Sings The Bunker Blues

After a rousing speech by Roger Clemens proclaiming his innocence to felony charges for lying to Congress, supporters in Katy, TX reported a flock of flying pigs rose from a nearby tree, circled the crowd and flew off into the sunset.

"However, this is a wakeup call," said Clemens after his perjury indictment. "I'm going to look closely at my lying."

Politico is reporting that former GOP House Majority Leader and fellow Texan Tom DeLay will advise Clemens, pro-bono, on how to employ smirking sanctimony to deny wrongdoing at his upcoming trial.

"We have enough potty-mouthed motherf..kers in the NFL," said NBC analyst Tony Dungy in blasting Jets' coach Rex Ryan for hiring former Jet Blue flight attendant Steven Slater as an Assistant Food Services Coach.

Responding to a tidal flow of fan protests over the "boring and stupid" New Meadowlands Stadium name, New Jersey officials announced the facility will be called "East Rutherford Just Off The Jersey Turnpike Field."

"It has nothing to do with Brad personally," commented Brett Favre about reports of a rift with Minnesota Viking's coach Brad Childress. "I just don't trust anyone who's bald and wears glasses."

World Extreme Cagefighting has applied to the International Olympic Committee to add cagefighting as an official event for the 2012 games in London.

"If he'd been my mother-in-law, none of this would have happened," said Francisco Rodriguez about the incident which resulted in his arrest for assaulting his father-in-law at Citi Field ... and a season-ending injury.

"My hand hurts," said Dustin Johnson after failing to write "I will not ground my club in bunkers anymore" 1,000 times on Whistling Straits' main blackboard. "He's 11 sentences short," said a PGA spokesman in announcing Johnson's immediate suspension. "Rules are rules."

Heard any good rumors?
Email the publisher!

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<< Back Top Eleven Things A-Rod and Madonna Can Do Together Jul 7, 2008 11. Polish A-Rod's helmet 10. Work on double play with Gwyneth 9. Jet to Paris to have cordial, can't-we-be-friends dinner with Lenny and Cyn 8. Get right to work on their Dancing With The Stars routines 7. How about a game of "Switch Hitter?" 6. Torch the publisher’s warehouse where copies of Chris Ciccone’s book “Life With My Sister Madonna” are stored 5. Play a little Hotbox and Fungo 4. Begin writing Material Girl Meets Material Boy 3. Practice on Alex's Infield Fly, being careful not to get too sticky and sweet 2. While watching A League of Their Own, fast (4x) forward through Madonna’s baseball scenes 1. Hot oil their gloves << Back Respond to this article \| Email this article to a friend Reader Responses Jul 10, 2008 3:28 PM Yo When there is an age difference like this (what 17-18 years?) it would be called a May-December romance. I'd call this one a "June-until she stops needing publicity for her latest venture" romance. Does anyone remember the Madonna-Beatty face-sucking during the filming and promotion for Dick Tracy? Jul 8, 2008 9:43 AM Kimbo S. Hot oil their gloves? Great!!!!! Jul 7, 2008 5:22 PM Dukie4ever If they get serious, A-Rod may have to sign a pre-nup. Hers. Jul 7, 2008 12:28 PM FireChief Hysterical! Bill Lumbergh Lives Play Ball with Stop-Motion Elvis Sings The Bunker Blues After a rousing speech by Roger Clemens proclaiming his innocence to felony charges for lying to Congress, supporters in Katy, TX reported a flock of flying pigs rose from a nearby tree, circled the crowd and flew off into the sunset. "However, this is a wakeup call," said Clemens after his perjury indictment. "I'm going to look closely at my lying." Politico is reporting that former GOP House Majority Leader and fellow Texan Tom DeLay will advise Clemens, pro-bono, on how to employ smirking sanctimony to deny wrongdoing at his upcoming trial. "We have enough potty-mouthed motherf..kers in the NFL," said NBC analyst Tony Dungy in blasting Jets' coach Rex Ryan for hiring former Jet Blue flight attendant Steven Slater as an Assistant Food Services Coach. Responding to a tidal flow of fan protests over the "boring and stupid" New Meadowlands Stadium name, New Jersey officials announced the facility will be called "East Rutherford Just Off The Jersey Turnpike Field." "It has nothing to do with Brad personally," commented Brett Favre about reports of a rift with Minnesota Viking's coach Brad Childress. "I just don't trust anyone who's bald and wears glasses." World Extreme Cagefighting has applied to the International Olympic Committee to add cagefighting as an official event for the 2012 games in London. "If he'd been my mother-in-law, none of this would have happened," said Francisco Rodriguez about the incident which resulted in his arrest for assaulting his father-in-law at Citi Field ... and a season-ending injury. "My hand hurts," said Dustin Johnson after failing to write "I will not ground my club in bunkers anymore" 1,000 times on Whistling Straits' main blackboard. "He's 11 sentences short," said a PGA spokesman in announcing Johnson's immediate suspension. "Rules are rules." Heard any good rumors? Email the publisher! eTrueSports Columnist Frank Coffey Top Eleven NHL Marketing Suggestions For The PGA eTrueSports Columnist Thomas Dolt Kobe Bryant's iPod Playlist eTrueSports Columnist Downs MacRury The Boras Files eTrueSports Columnist Ray Dougela Golf The Way It Oughta Be eTrueSports Columnist Burke Terry Baseball’s All-Time Business Name Team eTrueSports Columnist Chris Simmons The Chris Simmons "Inner-View": Jose Canseco eTrueSports Columnist Bookie Mom The N.B.A. – A League of Corruption Just a Phone Call Away Most Popular Stories A-Rod Says "Sorry" With Full-Body, Pinstripe Tattoo Mets Owner to Marry - Knicks Owner! Travis Henry Rushes To Spitzer's Side Mariah Carey Turns Down Offer From Kansas City Royals Carmelo: Google's SportsApologies Widget Works Great! Read All the News!		McCourt divorce prompts Torre to quit Wizard of Oz remake "Not to worry, Strasberg check already cashed," says agent Fake ad attempts to embarrass Roger Clemens, Mr. Bush Packer backer? New movie hints at Favre return to Green Bay Cubs new logo may have played part in Piniella's retirement
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