eTrueSports Logo Thursday, July 31st, 2014
 
<< Back

No Federal Bailout for Barkley

May 17, 2008

Charles Barkley gambling in Las Vegas

“We’re a little short this month,” says Treasury Secretary Paulson
 
Washington – Contrary to press reports, the Bush administration will not bail out Charles Barkley from a $400,000 gambling debt to a Las Vegas casino. “What with the Iraq war and all, we’re just a little short this month,” explained Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson.
 
“I guess I shouldn’t have switched from Republican to Democrat,” said a rueful Barkley, who accrued the debt at the Wynn Las Vegas casino in a two-day October gambling binge.
 
“Despite this little misunderstanding,” said a White House spokesman, “the administration still hopes that Charles will vote Republican in the coming election ... and also not run for governor of Alabama.”
 
In a telephone interview from the TNT studios, where he is employed as an NBA basketball analyst, Barkley said that he was considering an appeal to the Supreme Court. “They’re usually real nice to rich people,” said Barkley, who added, “I’m not broke, but I ain’t happy either.”

In a surprising sidebar to the story, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, who last week called for an investigation into the alleged bailout, said she now regretted her decision. "If I knew now what I didn't know then, I never would have said what I said," said Clinton.
 

<< Back

Reader Responses
May 21, 2008 9:09 AM
Yo
Charles doesn't have a gambling problem.  He has a winning problem.
May 19, 2008 11:38 PM
Brittney S.
I don't understand why Hillary is in this otherwise totally cool article. She's really, really smart and does't deserve it. At all. Maybe you're mean. I don't like mean people. 
  • "Karma's a bitch and she's got a long memory," a spokesman for the American Buddhist Society told eTrueSports after learning that Tiger Woods finished in 69th place at The (British) Open.
  • Amazon Publishing announced it will release Jason R. Kidd's "Integrity in Life, Work & Athletics," with a forward by Skip Bayless, in time for the opening of the NBA 2014-15 season. "It's a quick read," said an Amazon spokesman.
  • In Dog Show news, Sarah Palin has called for the banning of Afghan Hounds from all U.S. competitions. "They're foreign," explained Palin.
  • Jason Kidd reportedly told the Nets he had been diagnosed with early-onset megalomania, and needed "to concentrate 100% on myself to get better and richer."
  • "A dream come true," a source close to the Cleveland Indians told eTrueSports about the media attention focused on the Washington Redskins offensive nickname.
  • Antiseptic ointment giant Bacitracin is set to name Uruguayan soccer star Luis Suarez a national spokesperson, eTrueSports has learned.
  • Caesar's Palace bookmakers have raised the over/under on the Sterling family sale of the Los Angeles Clippers to 99 years.
  • After discovering his NFL health care plan doesn't cover concussions, commissioner Roger Goodell announced he will no longer call Native Americans "Redskins" to their faces.
  • For a second consecutive year, TNT's Chris Webber received the coveted "Most Muted Award" from the American Basketball Fans Association. "It almost seemed pointless to vote," said an ABFA spokesman.
  • Heard any good rumors?
    Email the publisher!