|Thursday, July 31st, 2014|
No Federal Bailout for Barkley
May 17, 2008
“We’re a little short this month,” says Treasury Secretary Paulson
Washington – Contrary to press reports, the Bush administration will not bail out Charles Barkley from a $400,000 gambling debt to a Las Vegas casino. “What with the Iraq war and all, we’re just a little short this month,” explained Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson.
“I guess I shouldn’t have switched from Republican to Democrat,” said a rueful Barkley, who accrued the debt at the Wynn Las Vegas casino in a two-day October gambling binge.
“Despite this little misunderstanding,” said a White House spokesman, “the administration still hopes that Charles will vote Republican in the coming election ... and also not run for governor of Alabama.”
In a telephone interview from the TNT studios, where he is employed as an NBA basketball analyst, Barkley said that he was considering an appeal to the Supreme Court. “They’re usually real nice to rich people,” said Barkley, who added, “I’m not broke, but I ain’t happy either.”
In a surprising sidebar to the story, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, who last week called for an investigation into the alleged bailout, said she now regretted her decision. "If I knew now what I didn't know then, I never would have said what I said," said Clinton.
May 21, 2008 9:09 AM
Charles doesn't have a gambling problem. He has a winning problem.
May 19, 2008 11:38 PM
I don't understand why Hillary is in this otherwise totally cool article. She's really, really smart and does't deserve it. At all. Maybe you're mean. I don't like mean people.
Heard any good rumors?
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