Carmelo: Google's SportsApologies Widget Works Great! * A Perfect Apology Every Time

Carmelo: Google's SportsApologies Widget Works Great!

Apr 16, 2008

Denver - Does Google’s just launched SportsApologies widget work? Just ask Denver’s Carmelo Anthony. “I didn’t know what to say when I got nailed for the DUI,” said the Nuggets' all-star forward. “At first, I even had my lawyer apologize for me. Boy, that didn’t work! Then someone turned me on to Google’s SportApologies widget.

“It’s easy! All you do is punch in your sport, and whatever it is you got busted for, and up pops a perfect apology. Slam dunk, problem over. This is the greatest gift to professional athletes I’ve ever heard of.”

The slogan for Google’s SportsApologies? "Don’t fidget, we got a widget."

"I thought widgets were just short people," said Anthony, "wow, did I learn a lesson!"

“I only wish SportsApologies had been around when I got into trouble,” said baseball’s Pete Rose. “I’d be in the Hall of Fame instead of having to scribble autographs at card shows to put food on the table.”

A spokesman for SportsApologies said that Carmelo Anthony’s situation is “precisely what our mission is about.” And, presumably, why the prescient folks at Google bought the company for a figure reported to be over $2.2 billion dollars three months ago.

Google refused comment on the purchase price for “S.A.” but a representative did say that serious negotiations are in progress to purchase CelebrityApologies.com and PoliticalApologies.com.

“Really, today’s market is unlimited for apologies,” said the Google rep.

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Reader Responses

Apr 19, 2008 1:18 PM

Frankie Java

When does PoliticiansApologies widget get launched?

Waterboard Bush!!

Apr 19, 2008 1:06 PM

lucid eye

Doesn't Goggle have something called a search engine? Don't you want eTrueSports.com to be found by that search engine? You oughta go to their new ParodyApologies widget and find a mea culpa you can send to them. Like NOW!

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<< Back Carmelo: Google's SportsApologies Widget Works Great! Apr 16, 2008 Denver - Does Google’s just launched SportsApologies widget work? Just ask Denver’s Carmelo Anthony. “I didn’t know what to say when I got nailed for the DUI,” said the Nuggets' all-star forward. “At first, I even had my lawyer apologize for me. Boy, that didn’t work! Then someone turned me on to Google’s SportApologies widget. “It’s easy! All you do is punch in your sport, and whatever it is you got busted for, and up pops a perfect apology. Slam dunk, problem over. This is the greatest gift to professional athletes I’ve ever heard of.” The slogan for Google’s SportsApologies? "Don’t fidget, we got a widget." "I thought widgets were just short people," said Anthony, "wow, did I learn a lesson!" “I only wish SportsApologies had been around when I got into trouble,” said baseball’s Pete Rose. “I’d be in the Hall of Fame instead of having to scribble autographs at card shows to put food on the table.” A spokesman for SportsApologies said that Carmelo Anthony’s situation is “precisely what our mission is about.” And, presumably, why the prescient folks at Google bought the company for a figure reported to be over $2.2 billion dollars three months ago. Google refused comment on the purchase price for “S.A.” but a representative did say that serious negotiations are in progress to purchase CelebrityApologies.com and PoliticalApologies.com. “Really, today’s market is unlimited for apologies,” said the Google rep. << Back Respond to this article \| Email this article to a friend Reader Responses Apr 19, 2008 1:18 PM Frankie Java When does PoliticiansApologies widget get launched? Waterboard Bush!! Apr 19, 2008 1:06 PM lucid eye Doesn't Goggle have something called a search engine? Don't you want eTrueSports.com to be found by that search engine? You oughta go to their new ParodyApologies widget and find a mea culpa you can send to them. Like NOW! Did A Woman Play For The Senators? Brett Favre's Lost 2008 Jets Promotional Music Video After learning that Red Bull is an official sponsor of the U.S. Olympic Committee, political activist and author Sarah Palin is demanding President Obama immediately oust “all commies” from the United States Olympic Committee. “I wish I’d just beaten the shit out of them,” said a wistful Jets coach Rex Ryan after learning he had been fined $50,000 for a caught-on-video obscene gesture towards fans at an MMA event. BREAKING NEWS: Craig James mediation settlement: Coach Mike Leach will promise not to lock concussed football players in dark rooms; Texas Tech school officials will admit they are gutless weenies. "I'll never buy another Impala SS," announced an angry Sarah Palin, after learning Chevron had unexpectedly cancelled its sponsorship of Alaska's Iditarod race. eTrueSports has learned former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich will not be rehired as a part-time mascot for the Toledo Mud Hens. “He scared the younger fans,” said a source close to the Mud Hens. A month after celebrating his 34th birthday, Tiger Woods reported mail theft to the Windermere, FL police because he had not received birthday cards from any of his friends. Fox Sports announced American Idle, a new primetime reality show featuring bench warmers from a variety of professional sports competing to see who has contributed the least to their team. Lakers’ Adam Morrison is set to host. No snow job. eTrueSports has learned the Vancouver Organzing Committee has moved the men's and women's alpine events to North Carolina's Smokey Mountains. With the NCAA Basketball Tournament a month away, the UConn Huskies women’s team has quietly dropped an exhibition game against the New Jersey Nets. “Teams play to the level of their competition,” explained coach Geno Auriemma. Heard any good rumors? Email the publisher! eTrueSports Columnist Frank Coffey Top Eleven NHL Marketing Suggestions For The PGA eTrueSports Columnist Thomas Dolt Kobe Bryant's iPod Playlist eTrueSports Columnist Downs MacRury The Boras Files eTrueSports Columnist Ray Dougela Golf The Way It Oughta Be eTrueSports Columnist Burke Terry Baseball’s All-Time Business Name Team eTrueSports Columnist Chris Simmons The Chris Simmons "Inner-View": Jose Canseco eTrueSports Columnist Bookie Mom The N.B.A. – A League of Corruption Just a Phone Call Away Most Popular Stories A-Rod Says "Sorry" With Full-Body, Pinstripe Tattoo Mets Owner to Marry - Knicks Owner! Travis Henry Rushes To Spitzer's Side Mariah Carey Turns Down Offer From Kansas City Royals Carmelo: Google's SportsApologies Widget Works Great! Read All the News!		Who Will Be This Season's Hero? Knicks' Latest LeBron James Pitch Unveiled Mark McGwire. Next. Up. Starring Sarah Palin, Directed by Sarah Palin, Sorta written by Cubs New Logo Unveiled
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