eTrueSports Logo Tuesday, August 4th, 2015
 
<< Back

Carmelo: Google's SportsApologies Widget Works Great!

Apr 16, 2008



Denver
- Does Google’s just launched SportsApologies widget work? Just ask Denver’s Carmelo Anthony. “I didn’t know what to say when I got nailed for the DUI,” said the Nuggets' all-star forward. “At first, I even had my lawyer apologize for me. Boy, that didn’t work! Then someone turned me on to Google’s SportApologies widget.
 
“It’s easy! All you do is punch in your sport, and whatever it is you got busted for, and up pops a perfect apology. Slam dunk, problem over. This is the greatest gift to professional athletes I’ve ever heard of.”
 
The slogan for Google’s SportsApologies? "Don’t fidget, we got a widget."

"I thought widgets were just short people," said Anthony, "wow, did I learn a lesson!"
 
“I only wish SportsApologies had been around when I got into trouble,” said baseball’s Pete Rose. “I’d be in the Hall of Fame instead of having to scribble autographs at card shows to put food on the table.”
 
A spokesman for SportsApologies said that Carmelo Anthony’s situation is “precisely what our mission is about.” And, presumably, why the prescient folks at Google bought the company for a figure reported to be over $2.2 billion dollars three months ago.
 
Google refused comment on the purchase price for “S.A.” but a representative did say that serious negotiations are in progress to purchase CelebrityApologies.com and PoliticalApologies.com.
 
“Really, today’s market is unlimited for apologies,” said the Google rep.

<< Back

Reader Responses
Jul 1, 2010 12:26 PM
Nino Stellari
How about some just add water  Mea Culpas  for Mariner hitters?  Man this opens up a whole new area, you could have the Swami write em.

Nino
Apr 19, 2008 1:18 PM
Frankie Java

When does PoliticiansApologies widget get launched?

Waterboard Bush!!

Apr 19, 2008 1:06 PM
lucid eye

Doesn't Goggle have something called a search engine? Don't you want eTrueSports.com to be found by that search engine? You oughta go to their new ParodyApologies widget and find a mea culpa you can send to them. Like NOW!

  • With his legal problems over, Goodyear renews offer to advertise on Barry Bonds' head. "Blimp them," says slugger.
  • “Karma's a bitch, " said an American Buddhist Society spokesman after Tiger Woods shot 76, 75, tying for 147th and missing the cut at The Open championship.
  • Trump calls wind at St. Andrews "un-American," demands Open Championship be moved to Kansas.
  • "Mexicans can't jump, everybody knows that," Donald Trump reportedly told fans in explaining why a border fence would stop illegal immigration. "Ask the NBA about (Eduardo) Najera," explained Trump. "No hops!"
  • Citing opposition to re-branding the state name, Donald Trump has abandoned plans to buy Iowa prior to the Republican primary on Feb 1, 2016.
  • Former reality TV star Donald Trump turns down six-figure offer to host Fox Sports 1’s competitive dance show, So You Think You Can Salsa? “No mas Español,” Trump said.
  • Trump calls on American Kennel Club to ban Chihuahuas from all dog shows. "They're foreign," explained Trump.
  • Donald Trump to finance and star in "Spawn of the Dead," "horror film with comedic elements," about son who inherits 27,000 NYC properties from his millionaire slumlord father.
  • More bad news for Phil Mickelson: In addition to a burgeoning $2.7 million illegal gambling scandal, the PGA is investigating rumors that the golfer may be a registered Democrat. “We’ll get to the bottom of this,” said Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem in a terse statement to the press.
  • Heard any good rumors?
    Email the publisher!