Carmelo: Google's SportsApologies Widget Works Great! * A Perfect Apology Every Time

Carmelo: Google's SportsApologies Widget Works Great!

Apr 16, 2008

Denver - Does Google’s just launched SportsApologies widget work? Just ask Denver’s Carmelo Anthony. “I didn’t know what to say when I got nailed for the DUI,” said the Nuggets' all-star forward. “At first, I even had my lawyer apologize for me. Boy, that didn’t work! Then someone turned me on to Google’s SportApologies widget.

“It’s easy! All you do is punch in your sport, and whatever it is you got busted for, and up pops a perfect apology. Slam dunk, problem over. This is the greatest gift to professional athletes I’ve ever heard of.”

The slogan for Google’s SportsApologies? "Don’t fidget, we got a widget."

"I thought widgets were just short people," said Anthony, "wow, did I learn a lesson!"

“I only wish SportsApologies had been around when I got into trouble,” said baseball’s Pete Rose. “I’d be in the Hall of Fame instead of having to scribble autographs at card shows to put food on the table.”

A spokesman for SportsApologies said that Carmelo Anthony’s situation is “precisely what our mission is about.” And, presumably, why the prescient folks at Google bought the company for a figure reported to be over $2.2 billion dollars three months ago.

Google refused comment on the purchase price for “S.A.” but a representative did say that serious negotiations are in progress to purchase CelebrityApologies.com and PoliticalApologies.com.

“Really, today’s market is unlimited for apologies,” said the Google rep.

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Reader Responses

Jul 1, 2010 12:26 PM

Nino Stellari

How about some just add water Mea Culpas for Mariner hitters? Man this opens up a whole new area, you could have the Swami write em.

Nino

Apr 19, 2008 1:18 PM

Frankie Java

When does PoliticiansApologies widget get launched?

Waterboard Bush!!

Apr 19, 2008 1:06 PM

lucid eye

Doesn't Goggle have something called a search engine? Don't you want eTrueSports.com to be found by that search engine? You oughta go to their new ParodyApologies widget and find a mea culpa you can send to them. Like NOW!

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Michael Phelps for The Clean Bong Water Foundation

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Los Angeles Lakers' center Dwight Howard has been rushed to Children's Hospital where he was diagnosed with Early-Onset Megalomania. "This is a real wake-up call," Howard told eTrueSports. "I need to concentrate 100% on myself to get better."

TMZ is reporting that the Grizzlies' Zach Randolph touched the rim at 3:42 of the 3rd quarter in Tuesday's 88-84 victory over the Thunder.

“Karma’s a bitch," said a spokesman for the American Buddhist Society commenting on Tiger Woods' DQ-less loss at The Masters.

The case against the crowd outside Pauley Pavilion who demanded the return of fired basketball coach Ben Howland has been dropped by the LAPD. "Both of them are good kids," spokesman told eTrueSports. "They just made a dumb mistake."

The National Transportation Safety Board investigation into ex-UCLA basketball coach Ben Howland's offense as source of drowsiness blamed for a rash of campus pedestrian collisions has been suspended. "The Westwood nightmare is over," said an NTSB spokesman.

After selling the naming rights to their football building - now Geo Group Stadium - to a private prison company, Florida Atlantic University denied the "The Perps" (formerly "The Owls") would compete in black and white striped uniforms. "That would be tacky," explained FAU President Mary Jane Saunders.

Heard any good rumors?
Email the publisher!

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<< Back Carmelo: Google's SportsApologies Widget Works Great! Apr 16, 2008 Denver - Does Google’s just launched SportsApologies widget work? Just ask Denver’s Carmelo Anthony. “I didn’t know what to say when I got nailed for the DUI,” said the Nuggets' all-star forward. “At first, I even had my lawyer apologize for me. Boy, that didn’t work! Then someone turned me on to Google’s SportApologies widget. “It’s easy! All you do is punch in your sport, and whatever it is you got busted for, and up pops a perfect apology. Slam dunk, problem over. This is the greatest gift to professional athletes I’ve ever heard of.” The slogan for Google’s SportsApologies? "Don’t fidget, we got a widget." "I thought widgets were just short people," said Anthony, "wow, did I learn a lesson!" “I only wish SportsApologies had been around when I got into trouble,” said baseball’s Pete Rose. “I’d be in the Hall of Fame instead of having to scribble autographs at card shows to put food on the table.” A spokesman for SportsApologies said that Carmelo Anthony’s situation is “precisely what our mission is about.” And, presumably, why the prescient folks at Google bought the company for a figure reported to be over $2.2 billion dollars three months ago. Google refused comment on the purchase price for “S.A.” but a representative did say that serious negotiations are in progress to purchase CelebrityApologies.com and PoliticalApologies.com. “Really, today’s market is unlimited for apologies,” said the Google rep. << Back Respond to this article \| Email this article to a friend \| Reader Responses Jul 1, 2010 12:26 PM Nino Stellari How about some just add water Mea Culpas for Mariner hitters? Man this opens up a whole new area, you could have the Swami write em. Nino Apr 19, 2008 1:18 PM Frankie Java When does PoliticiansApologies widget get launched? Waterboard Bush!! Apr 19, 2008 1:06 PM lucid eye Doesn't Goggle have something called a search engine? Don't you want eTrueSports.com to be found by that search engine? You oughta go to their new ParodyApologies widget and find a mea culpa you can send to them. Like NOW! Elvis's Masters' classic: "In The Bunker" Michael Phelps for The Clean Bong Water Foundation In what some are saying could be a poignant end to a once promising second career, eTrueSports has learned that the Alaska Ass Clowns of the fledgling American Caucasian Basketball League have ended negotiations with Sarah Palin to become the team's new mascot Barky. "Our focus group said she'd scare children," explained an Ass Clowns' spokesman. Sources close to Kobe Bryant have told eTrueSports the athlete/comedian will star in a remake of the 1997 TV movie "Mother Knows Best." Ironically, negotations with his own mother to play herself "have not gone well." Liberty University has added ESPN basketball analyst Chris Broussard as a commencement speaker, eTrueSports has learned. "The world needs more black bigots," said a spokesman for the evangelical Christian school of higher learning. Los Angeles Lakers' center Dwight Howard has been rushed to Children's Hospital where he was diagnosed with Early-Onset Megalomania. "This is a real wake-up call," Howard told eTrueSports. "I need to concentrate 100% on myself to get better." TMZ is reporting that the Grizzlies' Zach Randolph touched the rim at 3:42 of the 3rd quarter in Tuesday's 88-84 victory over the Thunder. “Karma’s a bitch," said a spokesman for the American Buddhist Society commenting on Tiger Woods' DQ-less loss at The Masters. The case against the crowd outside Pauley Pavilion who demanded the return of fired basketball coach Ben Howland has been dropped by the LAPD. "Both of them are good kids," spokesman told eTrueSports. "They just made a dumb mistake." The National Transportation Safety Board investigation into ex-UCLA basketball coach Ben Howland's offense as source of drowsiness blamed for a rash of campus pedestrian collisions has been suspended. "The Westwood nightmare is over," said an NTSB spokesman. After selling the naming rights to their football building - now Geo Group Stadium - to a private prison company, Florida Atlantic University denied the "The Perps" (formerly "The Owls") would compete in black and white striped uniforms. "That would be tacky," explained FAU President Mary Jane Saunders. Heard any good rumors? Email the publisher! Most Popular Stories A-Rod Says "Sorry" With Full-Body, Pinstripe Tattoo Mets Owner to Marry - Knicks Owner! Travis Henry Rushes To Spitzer's Side Mariah Carey Turns Down Offer From Kansas City Royals Carmelo: Google's SportsApologies Widget Works Great! Read All the News!		Rare photo of golfer Bubba Watson thinking Drug scandal PR dream for A-Rod's new cereal FIFA logo could be controversial MLB's latest scandal: Pie? Cubs new logo a sure winner
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