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Putin To Fight For Women's MMA Featherweight Title?
MOSCOW - Sources close to the Kremlin are denying reports that Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin's recent sex change operation will presage a run at Women's Mixed Martial Art's featherweight champ Cristiane "Cyborg" Santos. Read more...

Goodyear Cancels Ad Campaign on Barry Bonds' Head
CARSON, CA - Following Barry Bonds' federal conviction for felony obstruction of justice, Goodyear Blimp has cancelled a multi-million dollar deal to put Goodyear ads on the side of Bonds' head, sources told eTrueSports. Testimony at the slugger's perjury trial revealed illegal steroids helped grow his expansive, perfect-for-advertising noggin. Read more...

Stern Moves To Ban Nets' Prokhorov: "He's a Commie"
NEW YORK - Minutes after learning that Mikhail Prokhorov, the Nets' billionaire majority owner, would run for president of Russia, NBA commissioner David Stern moved to ban him from the NBA. "The NBA will not go red on my watch," vowed Stern. Read more...

Play Ball, Stop Motion

Elvis Sings The Bunker Blues

Selig Fingered As Ryan Braun's Flaxseed Connection
Milwaukee, WI - Sources close to NL MVP Ryan Braun say the outfielder is claiming MLB Commissioner Bud Selig supplied the flaxseed oil rumored to have caused the all-star's failed drug test. "What in God's name is Selig doing with his own cubicle in the Milwaukee Brewers' locker room?" said the source, who supplied eTrueSports with a photograph allegedly depicting the commissioner's flaxseed-strewn locker. Read more...

Coaches Blame Final Exams For Brawl
Cincinnati, OH - In a joint statement Cincinnati coach Mick Cronin and Xavier coach Chris Mack blamed the pressure of final exams for Saturday's brawl between their two basketball teams. "Our scholar-athletes were put in a situation where mindless violence was inevitable." Read more...

Let's Go Trumps
NEW YORK - Aspiring Mets' owner Donald Trump has vast plans to make over the beleaguered team, eTrueSports has learned - plans that include the mogul batting cleanup and playing centerfield in a renamed ballpark (The Donald Stadium) overlooking a renamed roadway (Grand Donald Parkway) for a renamed team (Trumps). Read more...

Did A Woman Play For The Senators?

Brett Favre's Lost 2008 Jets Promotional Music Video

Read All the News!

Recent User Comments

Jelly responds to:
Let's Go Trumps
Kill the Trumpire!

Fire Chief responds to:
Roethlisberger Out As Tiger's Caddie
Ben was a tad shaky on the difference between yards and feet ...

Dukie4ever responds to:
Showalter, Wedge Swap Wives To Change Luck
At least it wasn't a Mac Davis/Glen Campbell swap....

Jelly responds to:
Plaxico Burress Promises Not To Shoot Himself In His Brain
Couldn't find his brain to shoot it? Or, would shoot and miss.

Yo responds to:
Roger Clemens' Supporter Found In Pocatello
Like most supporters, something smells.....

Michael Phelps for The Clean Bong Water Foundation

eTS Vault: On The Road - NCAA Coverage, Vegas-style

Breaking news: According to blogosphere reports NFL owners are excited about a new halftime surgical procedure - Brain Replacement Surgery (BRS) - which promises to return concussed football players to the field in time for the start of the 4th quarter. NFLPA union calls move a "dangerous precedent."

In what some say is a first step toward a political career, David Stern has changed his name to Dear Leader. "Dear just wants to eat kimchi and give orders," said a longtime Stern confidante who called the beleaguered NBA commissioner "hungry and angry."

Sources close to ESPN report Jon Gruden is being blamed for a record 67% increase in Mute Button Failure Rates among HDTV set owners who were regular Monday Night Football fans.

On the heels of his divorce announcement, Kobe Bryant has been diagnosed with early-onset megalomania. "This is a real wake-up call," Bryant said. "I need to concentrate 100% on myself to get better."

87% of Americans think UCLA basketball coach Ben Howland's offense is more boring than Snooki, according to a new ESPN/TMZ poll. However only 85% agreed that he's "mean-spirited and joyless."

Mets scion Jeff Wilpon has been named an advisor to Mitt Romney. "Jeff knows more about entitlement than anyone in America," said a source close to Wilpon.

Fragrance experts are praising Lamar Odom's 'Eau de Lamar', the follow-up to the unisex scent 'Unbreakable' created with wife Khloe Kardashian, for bringing the "first authentic professional locker room odor experience" to the home market.

Sources close to Jerry Jones say the Dallas Cowboys' owner is resisting Texas Gov. Rick Perry's demand he change the team's iconic slogan to Christ's Team. "That'd piss off Igor bigtime," said the source about the Cowboys outstanding DE Igor Olshansky, who is Jewish.

ESPN announced it has added English soccer scores to its wildlly popular screen crawl during college basketball games. "You'll never have to wait for your West Brom results again," said an ESPN spokesman.

Heard any good rumors?
Email the publisher!

	Sunday, February 5th, 2012
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Putin To Fight For Women's MMA Featherweight Title? MOSCOW - Sources close to the Kremlin are denying reports that Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin's recent sex change operation will presage a run at Women's Mixed Martial Art's featherweight champ Cristiane "Cyborg" Santos. Read more... Goodyear Cancels Ad Campaign on Barry Bonds' Head CARSON, CA - Following Barry Bonds' federal conviction for felony obstruction of justice, Goodyear Blimp has cancelled a multi-million dollar deal to put Goodyear ads on the side of Bonds' head, sources told eTrueSports. Testimony at the slugger's perjury trial revealed illegal steroids helped grow his expansive, perfect-for-advertising noggin. Read more... Stern Moves To Ban Nets' Prokhorov: "He's a Commie" NEW YORK - Minutes after learning that Mikhail Prokhorov, the Nets' billionaire majority owner, would run for president of Russia, NBA commissioner David Stern moved to ban him from the NBA. "The NBA will not go red on my watch," vowed Stern. Read more... Play Ball, Stop Motion Elvis Sings The Bunker Blues Selig Fingered As Ryan Braun's Flaxseed Connection Milwaukee, WI - Sources close to NL MVP Ryan Braun say the outfielder is claiming MLB Commissioner Bud Selig supplied the flaxseed oil rumored to have caused the all-star's failed drug test. "What in God's name is Selig doing with his own cubicle in the Milwaukee Brewers' locker room?" said the source, who supplied eTrueSports with a photograph allegedly depicting the commissioner's flaxseed-strewn locker. Read more... Coaches Blame Final Exams For Brawl Cincinnati, OH - In a joint statement Cincinnati coach Mick Cronin and Xavier coach Chris Mack blamed the pressure of final exams for Saturday's brawl between their two basketball teams. "Our scholar-athletes were put in a situation where mindless violence was inevitable." Read more... Let's Go Trumps NEW YORK - Aspiring Mets' owner Donald Trump has vast plans to make over the beleaguered team, eTrueSports has learned - plans that include the mogul batting cleanup and playing centerfield in a renamed ballpark (The Donald Stadium) overlooking a renamed roadway (Grand Donald Parkway) for a renamed team (Trumps). Read more... Did A Woman Play For The Senators? Brett Favre's Lost 2008 Jets Promotional Music Video Read All the News! Recent User Comments Jelly responds to: Let's Go Trumps Kill the Trumpire! Fire Chief responds to: Roethlisberger Out As Tiger's Caddie Ben was a tad shaky on the difference between yards and feet ... Dukie4ever responds to: Showalter, Wedge Swap Wives To Change Luck At least it wasn't a Mac Davis/Glen Campbell swap.... Jelly responds to: Plaxico Burress Promises Not To Shoot Himself In His Brain Couldn't find his brain to shoot it? Or, would shoot and miss. Yo responds to: Roger Clemens' Supporter Found In Pocatello Like most supporters, something smells..... Michael Phelps for The Clean Bong Water Foundation eTS Vault: On The Road - NCAA Coverage, Vegas-style Breaking news: According to blogosphere reports NFL owners are excited about a new halftime surgical procedure - Brain Replacement Surgery (BRS) - which promises to return concussed football players to the field in time for the start of the 4th quarter. NFLPA union calls move a "dangerous precedent." In what some say is a first step toward a political career, David Stern has changed his name to Dear Leader. "Dear just wants to eat kimchi and give orders," said a longtime Stern confidante who called the beleaguered NBA commissioner "hungry and angry." Sources close to ESPN report Jon Gruden is being blamed for a record 67% increase in Mute Button Failure Rates among HDTV set owners who were regular Monday Night Football fans. On the heels of his divorce announcement, Kobe Bryant has been diagnosed with early-onset megalomania. "This is a real wake-up call," Bryant said. "I need to concentrate 100% on myself to get better." 87% of Americans think UCLA basketball coach Ben Howland's offense is more boring than Snooki, according to a new ESPN/TMZ poll. However only 85% agreed that he's "mean-spirited and joyless." Mets scion Jeff Wilpon has been named an advisor to Mitt Romney. "Jeff knows more about entitlement than anyone in America," said a source close to Wilpon. Fragrance experts are praising Lamar Odom's 'Eau de Lamar', the follow-up to the unisex scent 'Unbreakable' created with wife Khloe Kardashian, for bringing the "first authentic professional locker room odor experience" to the home market. Sources close to Jerry Jones say the Dallas Cowboys' owner is resisting Texas Gov. Rick Perry's demand he change the team's iconic slogan to Christ's Team. "That'd piss off Igor bigtime," said the source about the Cowboys outstanding DE Igor Olshansky, who is Jewish. ESPN announced it has added English soccer scores to its wildlly popular screen crawl during college basketball games. "You'll never have to wait for your West Brom results again," said an ESPN spokesman. Heard any good rumors? Email the publisher! Most Popular Stories A-Rod Says "Sorry" With Full-Body, Pinstripe Tattoo Mets Owner to Marry - Knicks Owner! Travis Henry Rushes To Spitzer's Side Mariah Carey Turns Down Offer From Kansas City Royals Carmelo: Google's SportsApologies Widget Works Great! Read All the News!		eTrueSports exclusive: First look at new Cubs' logo Hardin calls parody vitamin ad "meanspirited" NBA cancels plans for Statue of LeBronerty in NY harbor Facing suspension, A-Rod launches new cereal Trump turns hot dog contest loss into new bestseller
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